BPD bf broke up with me now wants back

[AllisG]

My bf broke up with me.

We've been having problems and I think he sensed I would break up with him.  He's working overseas at the moment.

Anyway, he expected me to try to stop him from breaking up and I didn't.  Now he's in a panic.  Wavering between loving and hating me, promises he'll change (again) then blames me for all his problems, etc.   He keeps calling and texting 24/7 even though I asked him not to.  I told him I'd like to not talk for a few days but he is relentless. I'm afraid if I don't reply he will do something rash.

What do I do?

[Tolou]

It is hard, but the best thing you can say, is that you care about them, ackwoledge how their feeling but, don't disregard their feelings... . Go on and say that you need time to yourself and his life or happiness should not be dependent upon you.  If he threatens harm, try to tell him to seek help at a hospital to calm down, or contact someone he knows... . If you are certain you want out, just get out and stay out after you have said whatever it is you need to say, try to talk to him in ways that puts his responsibilty on him, not anyone else... .

[Tolou]

let him know your not trying to be mean, but this is not going to work for you... . he left you once, he will do it again, you have set firm boundaries now, or he will figure out that this behavior is okay, inform that if he keep calling you block all text and calls, he needs to resepct your space, he left you... . so let him know that your moving on.

[OnceConfused]

Text him ONCE to let him know , that you don't think this r/s will work out for you and wish him well. Be short. Don't dwell in the whys and hows, because you will give him more places to hook him back into conversation and implied threat to get you back. Then after that , the best is the delete key. DOn't even read the texts, nor answering his phones. Of course, he will be in panic mode for a while but he will be fine as we all are.

You don't have to read his texts.