Not writing this for any replies, more for myself - putting this out into the universe for my own sanity. Have been trying to maintain the medium chill, no proactive comms. In return I received from my upBPD an expected mix of woe is me stories, cold shoulder and now the charming personality I once knew early in the relationship. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks so now being told that she has already made plans to celebrate my birthday. I assume that her having made plans a few weeks in advance is a lie (she's never that on top of things) and she is just saying that she made plans already so that I will feel guilty of opting out of something already planned. Push/Pull/Push/Pull - and the cycle continues. I asked her to invite other people since she rarely abuses me in front of others. I am an idiot to go to this.
push/pull/push/pull... .
it always carries on unless they do real deal therapy. Even then no guarantee.