he joined a group, made things worse

[AllisG]

My bf dBPD isn't in therapy, but he recently joined a Facebook group for pwBPD. 

I encouraged him thinking this was a good step.  He was acknowledging he needed some help.

However most of the people in his group are women.  I don't have issues with that.

The issue is that he shares with them all the "wonderful" things he does for me and says to me.  Not a problem except for the women think he's wonderful, romantic, and charming... . and basically that I am an ungrateful, selfish shrew who should consider herself lucky to be with him.  Of course he doesn't share with them any other aspect of our relationship.  And these women, being BPD themselves see nothing at all "wrong" with excessive phone calls, texts, etc. or his subtle manipulations or what I consider emotional abuse.

So now I have that to contend with.  I either brush it off by validating and changing the subject or just smiling.  But when it's convenient he'll use it against me. 

I gave him another chance... . my first mistake. 

I almost hope he'll hook up with one of these BPD ladies and they can play their games together.

[OutOfEgypt]

My ex would have done the same thing.  That's like an alcoholic trying to get help by going to a bar to talk with other alcoholics. 

[hergestridge]

You can't stop him from participating in that group, but it's obviously useless for him. A person  with BPD needs professional advice and support - someone who see through their manipulations and selective descriptions of the truth. I rhink that's something that you can even explain to a pwBPD.