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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Wait for it...  (Read 462 times)
JackBlacknBlue
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 70


« on: June 05, 2014, 07:35:18 AM »

Another posting just for my own cathartic benefit.

no contact for last 3 days -- ups and downs but overall much healthier

last night - text from her.  neutral content about her dog. 

2nd text with neutral content about the dog

I reply with neutral response about the dog

3rd text from her about the dog

I reply again with neutral response.

4th and 5th texts from her about dog

(me being pleasantly surprised that the texts aren't peppered with rage, abandonment or charming tales.  Also worried that text like these suck me back in thinking we can have normal friendship)

And then, receive text with another person's name mentioned totally out of context of the rest of texts but done intentionally.   I start laughing to myself.  She then texts, "oh sorry, mistyped."   

She never fails to disappoint.  But it was actually a huge relief to get that text.  It snapped me out of believing we were having normal text conversation.   In the past I would have been confused or even resentful when she 'mistakenly' called me another name or 'accidentally sent me a text that was for someone else'.  But it was just funny to me last night.  And so I slept well last night. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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SheAskedForaBreak
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 152


« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2014, 02:02:00 PM »

My ex BPD loves to talk about her dog too!  Great way to handle the responses.  Hang in there, it gets better.  I allowed myself to be sucked back in, but now I'm in the black where she doesn't contact me at all.  When I finally hear from her again I hope I've met someone so I'll have extra motivation to stay away.  Good luck on the journey!
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maribb

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 8


« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2014, 04:21:59 PM »

"She never fails to disappoint.  But it was actually a huge relief to get that text."

This happened to me too... . sometimes we want to belive thing will change
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