Custody Eval report in - Ex is histrionic but she should get primary custody

[trappeddad]

There are disclaimers to the subject.

First, the evaluator would not diagnose her but said she is moderately histrionic in handling interpersonal conflict.     Does this mean she probably has histrionic personality disorder?    The evaluator said she is a great mom but does not handle conflict well.

My ex has stated many lies and the evaluator rejected some of the lies but refused to reject other lies.    Since she is histrionic, he should have considered her other comments as lies.   

My child has mild autism, and the evaluator felt stability in the mom's home is best right now.     However, he will be re-diagnosed soon and think the mild autism is mostly a 4 year old acting out.    So I will hope for 50/50 later.     But I need to use the histrionic personality against her the evaluator refuses to use that as part of his final decision.     What should I tell my lawyer so it is vital evidence against her parenting.   

[Matt]

Was there an objective psych eval, like the MMPI-2?  Or just the evaluator talking with her?

What kind of lies are you talking about?  Did the evaluator make it clear that she was lying?  The ones he "rejected" - are they important, and do you have evidence?

[trappeddad]

yes, the mmpi-2 was used and the eval talked with her.   the evaluator used her references but none of my references and none of the neutral references.   

my ex lied about my physical abuse towards her and the kid, and the ce did not believe it.    and he stated that she seems histrionic.    if he does not believe her on the physical abuse, I wish he would not believe her on other things.    my ex lied about stuff she could get away with lieing about, such as interfering with the swim instructor, and not making quick decisions on my sons schooling.    the CE only rejected her lies if they were too over the top.     wish he would challenge the veracity of a histrionic on all matters.     

[Matt]

I'm not a lawyer, and nobody here can give you legal advice.  You might be able to file a motion to get the MMPI-2 results so another Ph.D. psychologist can interpret them.

You might also be able to challenge the evaluation on the issues you raised.  Talking to one party's references but not the other's seems biased;  you could put the evaluator on the stand and challenge why he did that.  You could also challenge why he made any assumptions about the truth of events without solid evidence.  He should not have believed anything based only on guesses.

Do you have evidence proving any of her lies, or could you get it?

[ForeverDad]

We've had a few histrionic people described here, they really, really try to be the center of attention, often in the legal arenas and spilling over into the social worlds, often endlessly.

My ex has stated many lies and the evaluator rejected some of the lies but refused to reject other lies.  Since she is histrionic, he should have considered her other comments as lies.

Maybe he's only discounting her claims that you were able to disprove with your documentation?

Is this custody evaluator qualified and well respected for prior evaluations?

My child has mild autism, and the evaluator felt stability in the mom's home is best right now.  However, he will be re-diagnosed soon and think the mild autism is mostly a 4 year old acting out.

I had the impression that my preschooler had some developmental slowness, even slight autism around ages 2 to 3 since he wouldn't look directly at me and his talking was a bit young for his age.  I attributed it to his dysfunctional home life since we didn't separate until he was almost 4 years old.  From kindergarten to halfway through 3rd grade he couldn't sit still and couldn't concentrate in school or with homework.  Teachers said he was bright but... .   He didn't have a psych eval until after he was about 9 years old and by then he had greatly improved.

So it's possible that if your son's mild autism is caused or worsened by his exposure to a dysfunctional home environment, then the more time he can spend in daycare, school and with you, then the better he will be.  Even if you don't get what you seek now, be consistent asking for as much parenting time as possible.

[trappeddad]

You might also be able to challenge the evaluation on the issues you raised. 

Given my son was diagnosed with mild autism, I don't think I can change the CE's recommendations.    But there are so many harsh lies about me I want challenged (example - i have inappropriate  behavior with my son, i cannot handle my son on  a day to day basis, etc.).    My lawyer says to forget about them as the report will be sealed, but this case could come up again.     Is there a way to settle the case but not settle the Custody Eval report?    Can I sue the Custody Evaluator?     

Maybe he's only discounting her claims that you were able to disprove with your documentation?

Is this custody evaluator qualified and well respected for prior evaluations?

he only discounts outrageous claims that he cannot disprove such as child abuse.    it is a respected custody evaluator by experts but some other have their issues with him.

[Matt]

Listen to what your lawyer says, but also challenge her and ask for options.

Many, many attorneys tell their clients - to be frank, I mean especially dads - to take the easy path and not fight.

Your instincts seem sound to me:  anything in the CE's report which is factually incorrect - not the CE's opinions you don't agree with, but factual statements which you know to be false - I think should be challenged.  Even if the issues are aren't resolved, you will have stated your truth, and you can provide whatever evidence you have.  Failure to do that could later be seen as agreement with the CE's story.

"Can I sue the CE?"  I don't know.  Ask your attorney.  Since you seem to have no confidence in your attorney, you might want to also talk with some other family law attorneys - many give a free initial consultation - and just ask them this simple question.  You might find an attorney who is a stronger advocate than the one you now employ.