Not posting for sympathy or advice. Just like knowing that there are a bunch of people here that really understand. I don't have anyone I know that really gets what it is like having a relationship with a pwBPD.
I am balancing trying not to trigger friend pwBPD against me because of potential implications at work. So I had been taking tact of only responding to her texts and messages when she asks me something or making very short comment in reply to her texts and messages. I had ceased setting up any social outings with her or proactively communicating. It had been working quite well for me as it didn't seem to trigger her and I was less and less in her life. then she made plans for my birthday which I accepted so as not to slight her. She treated me like when she first befriended me years ago---super charming, considerate, thoughtful. There was a moment when we were together at dinner when it looked like 'dragon lady' might come out. Her demeanor changed dramatically and I often notice that the look in her eyes changes when she is triggered or splitting me. I took picture of her at that moment under guise of taking photo of her doing a birthday toast. interesting thing is that when she sent the picture to her sister, the sister commented on how her eyes seemed like she was very tired or sick.
Overall, i think she kept me in the white. It had been a very long time since I had been treated like that from her. I had a flash back to how I got sucked in to begin with, but this time with the knowledge of the BPD dynamic. I was much more in tune with her mirroring me and talking about things I care about that I know she hasn't in the past but seemed to now have an interest. It is very fascinating now that I understand a bit more about the disorder.
I am still maintaining my strategy of keeping distance. The white paint hasn't dripped off me yet but fully expecting the broad brush stroke of black to come unannounced.
Who knew recycling meant more than separating plastics, glass and paper... .
