28 year old daughter with BPD- DBT Therapist in Sydney?

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi everyone,

My 28 year old daughter has BPD [Im pretty sure.] For a year she has been seeing a psychiatrist who does longterm psychotherapy and he told her she has "strong emotions that she will have to deal with for life." She has all the symptoms of BPD , so I think it seems pretty obvious.Fear of abandonment, hates being alone, overwhelming emotions, feelings of emptiness, impulsive risk taking behaviour, alcohol and drugs and self harm in the past-and an eating disorder too when a teen.

Things have been pretty bad the last year since her marriage broke up-she now has alcoholism too thanks to her abusive alcoholic ex. 5 days ago she had a high range drink driving car accident and wrote off her car-no one was hurt thankfully. Her psychiatrist is freudian psychotherapist [very expensive!]-apparently he deals with personality disorders but he has not helped with the drinking and has offered no behavioural DBT.He said he does not teach "coping strategies" and wants her to "feel her emotions not suppress them"

I dont know what to do!Im trying to find a psychiatrist/psychologist in Sydney that does the psychotherapy and DBT approach together-isn't that the best approach to treat people with BPD? Or maybe she could do a DBT program somewhere or see another therapist for the DBT? I dont know what to do about the alcohol problem-im sending her to a drug and alcohol counsellor at local hospital and we can take it from there.Unfortunately her psychiatrist told her AA would not be good for her because she is very shy and withdrawn and would not share and that one on one would work better.I dont necessarily believe that though.I dont think my daughter has told him the full extent of the drinking.Her psychiatrist not very helpful re the alcohol issue-he still thinks he can deal with it with his psychotherapy even though she could be dead by now in the recent car crash- obviously his approach has not worked for the addiction.Luckily my daughter does want help-but unfortunately thinks she can still socially drink and practice controlled drinking.

Does anyone know of a good therapist for BPD in Sydney?Any advice about the drinking issue?

Thanks so much for all replies

[mirandamolly]

Hi everyone,

My 28 year old daughter has BPD [Im pretty sure.] For a year she has been seeing a psychiatrist who does longterm psychotherapy and he told her she has "strong emotions that she will have to deal with for life." She has all the symptoms of BPD , so I think it seems pretty obvious.Fear of abandonment, hates being alone, overwhelming emotions, feelings of emptiness, impulsive risk taking behaviour, alcohol and drugs and self harm in the past-and an eating disorder too when a teen.

Things have been pretty bad the last year since her marriage broke up-she now has alcoholism too thanks to her abusive alcoholic ex. 5 days ago she had a high range drink driving car accident and wrote off her car-no one was hurt thankfully. Her psychiatrist is freudian psychotherapist [very expensive!]-apparently he deals with personality disorders but he has not helped with the drinking and has offered no behavioural DBT.He said he does not teach "coping strategies" and wants her to "feel her emotions not suppress them"

I dont know what to do!Im trying to find a psychiatrist/psychologist in Sydney that does the psychotherapy and DBT approach together-isn't that the best approach to treat people with BPD? Or maybe she could do a DBT program somewhere or see another therapist for the DBT? I dont know what to do about the alcohol problem-im sending her to a drug and alcohol counsellor at local hospital and we can take it from there.Unfortunately her psychiatrist told her AA would not be good for her because she is very shy and withdrawn and would not share and that one on one would work better.I dont necessarily believe that though.I dont think my daughter has told him the full extent of the drinking.Her psychiatrist not very helpful re the alcohol issue-he still thinks he can deal with it with his psychotherapy even though she could be dead by now in the recent car crash- obviously his approach has not worked for the addiction.Luckily my daughter does want help-but unfortunately thinks she can still socially drink and practice controlled drinking.

Does anyone know of a good therapist for BPD in Sydney?Any advice about the drinking issue?

Thanks so much for all replies

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Reforming]

I'm sure someone on the site can help you find a good DBT therapist in Australia.

But it's also worth considering Schema a relatively new therapy has proven to be a very effective treatment for BPD.

The International Society of Schema Therapists website has a list of fully trained and accredited therapists based in Australia

isstonline.com/australia

I've heard very good things about a therapist called Chris Hayes who is based in Perth (he trained under Jeffrey Young who developed the therapy, and then trained schema therapists in the UK before moving back to Australia.

The website lists one Sydney based therapist

Robert N. Brockman

Clinical Psychologist

Liverpool, Sydney, N.S.W.

Phone: (02) 9821 1533

Website: introspectpsychology.com.au

Email: admin@introspectpsychology.com.au

Hope this helps. Good luck

Reforming

[HealingSpirit]

Dear Mirandamolly,

I'm from the USA, so unfortunately I have no resources for you.  But I wanted to offer you my support any time you visit this site.  The situation with your DD's T sounds so frustrating!  There are a LOT of bad therapists out there, and it's scary when the stakes are so high.  I hope you find another T who is willing to step up and help give your DD some tools, rather than just analyze her thoughts.

In my mind, understanding is the booby prize, unless it helps us be more empathetic.  Knowing "why" doesn't really help you or your DD to cope.  Psychology has come a long way since Freud's time.  I agree with you that your DD would be better served by a T who gives her tools to deal with her extreme sensitivity.

Your DD is very lucky to have your wise love and support.

[Aussie JJ]

Hi,

www.spectrumBPD.com.au/

I dont know about SYD but this is the support website funded in Vic by the Vic government.  With this they will probably be able to link you to a service in SYD.  

Also, Mensline any of those support groups will be able to point you towards the rescources to help you.  I know its mensline however they do have a raft of rescources that they can direct you towards.  Saneline is national Mental health phoneline. 

Life Line

Ph: 131 114

Lifeline is a telephone counselling service available 24 hours a day throughout Australia.

Sane Helpline (information and referral line)

Ph: Freecall 1800 187 263

The SANE Helpline provides information about symptoms, treatments, medications, where to go for support and help for carers. It operates from 9am-5pm weekdays.

Good luck

[mirandamolly]

Thankyou everyone for your support and replies... .Im very grateful and will research all your helpful suggestions. Im feeling better and more hopeful today after staying in bed collapsed for most of yesterday!... .we have a plan... .my daughter said she wants to try DBT - there are day programmes in some private hospitals here but she works full time so that wont work. Ive found a psychologist who does DBT and schema therapy for BPD-and she runs a day DBT programme at a private hospital here in Sydney-am praying she can see my daughter at a time she can go. My daughter will not go to an alcohol counsellor as well-----she said she wants to try DBT to give her strategies to help her tolerate her emotions so she will not need to drink when upset-which is the problem. I really am not comfortable with her "controlled drinking" approach -esp after she nearly killed herself in her car. However she has lost her drivers licence fror 12-18 months so we have time to see if DBT will help the drinking-if not she said she will do an abstinance programme.Meanwhile she said she wants to continue seeing her psychiatrist for the psychotherapy-she said she never really told him about her drinking[?she said he thought he would judge her?]  so she never gave him a chance and maybe now he will step up and help her with it.

Do you all think this sounds sensible?How could someone with BPD give up drinking when they are upset if they have no tools/strategies to put in the place of the alcohol? Im really hoping this psychologist who does the DBT will see her even though she has a drinking problem as well as DBT-but dont alot of people with DBT use alcohol or drugs-surely the psych must be used to it?I even found an article online about using DBT for borderlines with substance abuse problems.

This is all such a maze... .but we can never give up or walk away because they are our children!Im hopeful now that DBT and schema therapy in combination with the psychotherapy could really help her in time-i know progress is slow. I try to feel lucky that she loves her job as a teacher and does really well at her career--thats something!Thanks again for your help and for listening

[Reforming]

Hi mirandamolly

Well done for finding help.

A combination of Schema and DBT sounds like a great way forward.

Both have been proven to really help BPD and getting her into the right therapy is great first step.

I'm not an expert but I'm not sure it's wise to continue with  the other psychotherapy at the same time.

It could be counterproductive and allow her play one off against the other.

But your new therapist can advise you on this. I would listen to her.

Schema and DBT both have a much higher success rate than traditional psychotherapy

How are you? This is a huge burden to shoulder and it's terribly easy to lose yourself in these circumstances. Sharing your life with a BPD can really grind you down.

Do you have any support?  It's worth thinking about a T for you to help you hold on to yourself and make sense of what's happening.

You can't fix her and you certainly can't help her unless you look after yourself first.

Keep posting and the best of luck.

Reforming