uBPD BF breaks his ST after 9days

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

After a 9 day ST with no contact on either part, my uBPD BF breaks the silence via text.

The text indicates he is willing to follow through on a house remodel project he promised to complete if I wanted it and asked for my schedule for him to complete the work.  I waited until the next day and gave a simple reply of Yes, thank you. That would be great.   

So its all business right now.  I am mixed about that. But he did the same last year and we agreed to start slow with the r/s again.  Fast fwd a year later and we're in the same territory.

So, should I keep it all business and see what develops?   The hardest part for me right now is moving forward with a status of "limbo". 

[calmboom]

After a 9 day ST with no contact on either part, my uBPD BF breaks the silence via text.

The text indicates he is willing to follow through on a house remodel project he promised to complete if I wanted it and asked for my schedule for him to complete the work.  I waited until the next day and gave a simple reply of Yes, thank you. That would be great.   

So its all business right now.  I am mixed about that. But he did the same last year and we agreed to start slow with the r/s again.  Fast fwd a year later and we're in the same territory.

So, should I keep it all business and see what develops?   The hardest part for me right now is moving forward with a status of "limbo". 

[amigo]

Sounds to me like he wants to make sure you are still in his net, and also is waiting for a more enthusiastic response. Did he text anything else after your reply?

My uBPD (ex?)BF just did the same, broke the silence with "wanna have dinner tonight?" as if nothing happened. I couldn't go, because I was working, so now it's back to ST, even though I suggested another night. He actually had said in the past, that my response didn't sound enthusiastic enough, so he just didn't act on it. They need so much freaking reassurance!

Anyway, if your BPD BF is anything like my BPD (strong NPD traits too), he probable just needs the assurance that you still want him, and he may play it as it suits him. I am still in limbo too. I don't know what he will do next. It sucks.

What I do know - and it hurts like hell - is that it will NEVER work with him. He will always succumb to his splitting, lying, cheating unless he sees the light and seeks help.

Hang in there and read and read lots of posts. Keeps me from contacting him. Hugs to you.

[Grey Kitty]

So, should I keep it all business and see what develops?   The hardest part for me right now is moving forward with a status of "limbo". 

That is the big question, isn't it!

I'd recommend starting with acceptance that this sort of pulling away is something that your BF will do.

He isn't likely to change... .or certainly not quickly. Some senior members here have stayed in long, somewhat ambiguous r/s, knowing that there will be times of pulling away, and have found that it is worth it to them.

Pretending he is suddenly "different" now isn't a good bet.

I gotta add that ending the silent treatment as if nothing had changed is the sort of thing I've experienced many times.

I wish you peace and clarity.