What is old is new again

[tuum est61]

Just a quick intro. I'm back after being heavily engaged in this site for 2 years about a year ago. I stepped back at the request of my BPDw but also felt I was managing. And I have. The advice here saved my sanity but unfortunately even though I changed, my w has not. I'm done with managing her illness and am in the process of separating. I'm here for support through that process... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[DreamFlyer99]

hi Tuumest, and welcome back! 

I'm sorry things haven't gone as well as you'd hoped. Is your wife diagnosed? Has she been in any therapy to help her make changes? If you were here for 2 years previously then you do know that she's the one who needs to take responsibility for her own issues and behavior. I had a really hard time letting go of the fact that I had no control over what my husband chose to do or how he chose to treat me.

Can you tell us more of the story as you feel comfortable to do so?

All the best, and i'm sorry you're going through this time. The good bit is that you are here and can get the support you need. Your choices can build you the life you want, and so much healing can take place in this community.

df99

[Ziggiddy]

hi Tuumest

Sorry to hear that things have gotten difficult for you. Although it's a shame that your wife hasn't changed. It can be very frustrating to find yourself being the one who does what you can to make things better and find same patterns repeating.

I'm sorry it has come down to your feeling the need to separate but you also have to find your own balance don't you?

I hope you can share more of your experience and get the benefits of the support and insight and understanding that abound here.

Best of luck

Ziggiddy

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Welcome back.  We're here to help.

[DreamGirl]

Hey old friend!

So happy to see you.