Hello, londonD &
Are the two of you married? Separated? Divorced? Separated partners to each other? You say you broke up in October 2013, but reconciled from February 2014 to May 2014? So, does that mean you've been separated for 2 months, but actually had a bit of a reunion a month ago? With a 2 year-old son, you are correct that you will need to be in communication with her, regardless of the state of your union, for a long time. Have you checked out the
links to the right-hand side of this page?
Before you can make anything better, you much stop making it worse, and
The Lessons will help you navigate that relationship in a way that would beneficial for that communication, as well as for your son.
How long had you two been together? What are you hoping for with this relationship? I know you are asking how to get over her fully, and there
is a Message Board on this site for that. But, if you are thinking that you would like to try to make this work, then the links to the right side of this page would help you in that endeavor. The
Undecided Board: Staying or Leaving also has
links to the right-hand side of the page that could help you figure out the pros and cons of disengaging from her or trying to make things work out. What is the outcome you are most interested in, londonD? Reading the information I mentioned above, could really help you with that decision, I think... .
Can you tell us more of your situation, so we can help you better?
Hi Rapt Reader
We are currently separated. Correct we reconciled for three months but I went back to the way it was previously. My ex is almost definitely BPD, I've read extensively, one article titled "early warning signs BPD" matches our first date exactly, playing the victim, sex very early etc etc.
We've been separated for two months, we had sex and spent the days as a family a month ago. It was lovely and the way we should be but it was idealisation. She has been seeing someone for the last three weeks which is very painful but its not serious.
We were together for 3.5 years but knew each other for two years before becoming an item. The arguments were too often, too heated and too many things have been said and done for us to reconcile. I know deep down that it will never work and I'll be back on these boards in six months.
I've been speaking to a therapist and I'm a narcissist. That's why we were so attracted to each other and why things were so intense. Because of the fact I'm a narcissist I'm finding it very difficult to let go, the thought of her in a relationship/ having sex with another man is killing me, it drives me mad.
I fell in love with a woman, who was pregnant within four months of our relationship beginning (trapped). The hard thing is that this woman never existed. The person I loved was fake, it's this person I'm mourning.
I'm three days NC, I've been communicating with her father to arrange access of my son. She is also going away for a month to work in a hospital in Africa (med student), this may be a good thing for me so I don't have to see her.
The problem I have is letting go, moving on and the thought of her entering a relationship with another man. She is messaging multiple men trying to replace me aggressively.
