Paying Back Child Support When Child is Now an Adult?

[PleaseValidate]

If a parent is Paying Back Child Support When Child is Now an Adult, started payments at age 21 when kid still in school. Should these payments be going to the other parent or the now adult child (who graduated college since the judgement)?

my BPDMO took my disabled dad to court for child support when i was 21 and still in college. It is a decade past the judgement yet he is still paying her. I'm questioning the legality of the checks going to her and not to me as the adult "child."

I strongly question this because when i was 18 and still in hs for a few more months, my BPDMO forged my name to all of the SSDI checks that started coming in my name from when i turned 18 until when i finished hs.

Anyone have info or experience on this?

[ForeverDad]

It is possible, just because a child has become an adult, past support can still be due to the other parent since the purpose of child support is to offset some of the expenses of rearing a child.  There are many variables though.

• For all we know his payment obligation may have ended long ago.  Does he have a schedule or an order that states how long he is to pay?  Review that closely.



• Does he pay a state child support enforcement agency or does he pay her directly?  If he pays her directly she may not remind him when his obligation is fulfilled.



• Did his divorce decree or his support order include support for and during some of your college years?



• Is his payment lower than the CS monthly amount?  If so, then it may take longer to repay.



• If his actual earnings were not calculated correctly into the CS amount, then he may have been overcharged, but I don't know if any corrections would be applied retroactively.



• You may need a legal opinion about whether your mother could forge your name and cash your SSDI checks when you were an adult.  If you were living with her then perhaps it would be expected you would share some of that money for room and board?  I would expect that forging your name is always illegal, if you pursue it.  However, more and more the government seems to care less and less when its money is stolen or misdirected.

[livednlearned]

If a parent is Paying Back Child Support When Child is Now an Adult, started payments at age 21 when kid still in school. Should these payments be going to the other parent or the now adult child (who graduated college since the judgement)?

my BPDMO took my disabled dad to court for child support when i was 21 and still in college. It is a decade past the judgement yet he is still paying her. I'm questioning the legality of the checks going to her and not to me as the adult "child."

I strongly question this because when i was 18 and still in hs for a few more months, my BPDMO forged my name to all of the SSDI checks that started coming in my name from when i turned 18 until when i finished hs.

Anyone have info or experience on this?

Hi PleaseValidate,

Laws are different in every state, so it's a good idea to check with the child support division in your state to make sure you get the most accurate answer. I'm not an attorney and most of us here are not -- we just spend a lot of time dealing with family law courts and lawyers.  

Another thing you can do is post your question on Avvo.com and see if a lawyer in your state has an answer (it's free). But if you want to be doubly sure, and have other questions about the SSDI checks, it might be worth paying $50 to $100 to consult with an attorney for 30 minutes. Sometimes there are details to each situation that a lawyer will recognize, that we aren't familiar with, and that can make a difference in how your situation goes forward. If a judge ordered child support, there must be a legal document with the details of the ruling. You can usually call the clerk of court to get copies. You might have to pay a little bit to do that, but at least you would see what's there, and any lawyer you talk to will probably want to know what's in the order.

Sorry you're dealing with this. Hope this helps.

LnL

[Iforget]

In Texas child support is handled thru the state by wage garnishment. I have a friend who periodically gets a check when the ex works. When her child turned 18 he owed over $20,000. She will continue to get the checks till he pays off the balance.

[PleaseValidate]

Its just a shame because I swear, with Welfare, foodstamps, Welfare paying for her college degree (AA), my dad's ssdi,  my Grams letting us live there for pennies until I was 18, my dads payment of over 20k in the last 10yrs, my BPDMO has most definitely made money just by the fact of me being alive!

Not to mention I always preferred wearing her hand me down clothing,  my Grams paid for all the food, BPDmo spent nothing on my education nor my healthcare, and very little on extracurricular activities (since I knew better not to ask her.) And i have paid her thousands over the years when she cries poor mouth! Yet the last 2 yrs I have spent in virtual poverty, unable to work, dealing w re occurrence of my PTSD due to her lies, manipulation and refusal to take care of her own mother.

Nice work if you can get it.

*sigh*

[ForeverDad]

It may be up to your father to determine his legal obligations, time frames, etc.  What you can do is gift yourself freedom from being guilted into helping her any more.   After all, she's an adult!  She's old enough to make her own successes or failures.  Consequences.

[PleaseValidate]

Thanks FD! Besides her screwing him over, i also feel like I want to protect my dad from more abuse. He has severe schizophrenia which is why the SSDI in the first place. But he didn't get that dx and subsequent SSDI until AFTER a judge had already ordered the support. So there's the kicker. He wasn't even well enough to show up to court when the payment schedule was ordered.

But the rational side of me knows there is not much I can do about this either unless I want to bring more emotional harm from BPDmo into my life.

More guilt I must somehow let go of for self protection.

*sigh again*

[ForeverDad]

It is amazing what recovery over time, combined with improved skills and inner strength, can do.  What you can't do now, you may be able to do later.  As an adult, you don't have to have ANY direct interaction with her and if you help your father then you can learn to deflect her attacks with strengthened boundaries and ability to not let her overwhelm you (at least to the extent she did before).  In other words, you don't have to let her live rent-free in your head.

[PleaseValidate]

"In other words, you don't have to let her live rent-free in your head."

This is my ultimate goal! !  I was doing it for so long and now I need learn to do it again!