Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
April 30, 2025, 03:49:10 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Books most popular with members
104
Stop Caretaking the
Borderline or the Narcassist
Stop Walking
on Eggshells
Journey from
Abandonment to Healing
The Search for Real Self
Unmasking Personality Disorders

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: help please  (Read 478 times)
stuckgirl
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: engaged but not living together
Posts: 112



« on: August 05, 2014, 04:27:14 PM »

I asked my uBPD fiance (with whom ive had the BPD fights,issues and problems discussed everywhere) if he had ever wanted to replace me,that he had wished i was another person,he replied 'ive never really thought about it' i said jokingly that that made it sound like at some time he had,he repeated what he'd said before,i said that perhaps at some point... ?for a microsecond,and he said "i dont think thinking about such things does any good because that is how life is,we never get what we wish for"

Did he just indicate he did wish it or did i read him wrong? Have i finally lost my mind?The piece of crap had been giving me ___ about how i didnt love him just five minutes before i asked him and after i said that i did love him,blew him his mandatory kisses, he didnt have the decency to even lie about it?

I texted him at night to say that if he wanted another girl i would let him then,he replied with 'shut up a thousand times i hate you for wanting that.ok fine' what the crap is going on?what is going on?
Logged
maxsterling
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772



« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2014, 04:42:57 PM »

I'm sorry you got such an ambiguous answer.  pwBPD are not very good at making up their minds about anything and sticking with it.  My course of action is often to simply not ask so that I don't get replies that frustrate me. 

It sounds to me like you asked him a loaded question.  If he answered "yes", you would be hurt. And if he answered "No" he would be lying.  You want to know whether he truly wants to be with you or not.  Its natural to want that kind of security in your relationship.  Is there a way you can ask that question more directly, so that you can get a more direct answer?

Logged

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!