How to contact someone who doesn't want to be contacted

[Alrick]

Hello:  My son, who in his mid-twenties, may or may not have BPD, but the features of the behaviour are a way of understanding it.

He isn't interested in contact with me or my wife as it's "too painful".  His relationship with his other siblings is not straightforward and I don't think there is an avenue there.  There are certainly a ton of mistakes we have made; most of them as we didn't understand what was happening over the last five years.

He is socially isolated from his family, most likely the majority of his old friends and has just gone through two recent break-ups with girls who really cared for him.

We are quite concerned the isolation is going to worsen his symptoms of depression and there have been hints of suicide but I don't think there is a plan at the present time.  He doesn't return texts or emails, or answer his phone.  He won't give us his address (he does live in the same city).  The only way to see him is to wait outside his place of employment and the distinct impression one gets is the less time together the better.  We think we have made strides in understanding things and hope to do better in the future but none of this is helpful if we can't even meet in person.

How to break this log jam?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lever.]

Hj Alrick-I see you are already here- i have replied on the parenting board