3 with BPD

[Sandraleann1]

Two of my daughters have BPD as well as myself. My symptoms are mostly in "remission" these past two decades.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

Hello Sandraleann1, and 

I'm glad you are reachng out for help with your daughters. You said your BPD traits are mostly in remission. Were you in treatment, or did you find ways to dampen the symptoms on your own?

It must be frustrating to see your daughters showing signs of BPD, especially since you can probably relate to their feelings.  Have they been diagnosed, or are in therapy? Are they teenagers? What do you see are your biggest struggles with them?

Turkish

[DreamFlyer99]

Hi! 

Very cool that your BPD is mostly in remission--you must have done some hard work to get there! Currently I'm working to heal from Complex PTSD traits and it's hard and triggering.

I would love to hear more about your situation and how old your daughters are and what you're seeing in their behavior.

I hope you post more as soon as you're comfortable.

[HealingSpirit]

Hello Sandraleann1,

I'd like to join Turkish and DreamFlyer99 in welcoming you to our family.

You have given me hope by posting that you are in remission from your own BPD. THANK YOU! My daughter(17) was diagnosed with BPD in May, but she showed signs of emotional dysregulation at a very early age, so her diagnosis was more of a relief than a surprise.  Though it did make me very sad, initially.

I'm impressed that you are able to STAY in remission while also dealing with 2 daughters with BPD.  I just have the one BPD daughter, and the drama she can create makes ME question my own sanity sometimes. 

Can you tell us a bit more about yourself?  What brought you here?  Are you struggling (like the rest of us parents with BPD offspring) and need support from people who understand?  My heart goes out to you with 2 BPD daughters.  My goodness!

[Skip]

How are things going?

[Sandraleann1]

Oh my, just realized how long it was since I first posted. SO much has happened since August. Like Healing Spirit, I was more relieved than surprized by the diagnosis of BPD for my middle daughter. My eldest has a diagnosis after this. Again, not a surprize but a confirmation and certainly opened my eyes to my struggles early on in life. I had a psychiatrist insist I was bi-polar and wanted to prescribe lithium for me (I refused treatment and disengaged from this doctor.) My twenties were a mess! I truly believe God put His angels about me to protect me from all the very dangerous circumstances I placed myself in with my illness. My husband, who I met at age 29, was a stablizer, a constant for me. I think this truly helped in my case.

My middle daughter left home for a few months, in a very bad situation. She returned in November. Our home was calmer without her, but it ripped my heart out to have her gone. When she returned, she seemed to be in a better state of mind. That has quickly dissapated. She is "back" to her raging, drug use, deception, etc. My eldest daughter is doing better as she learns to manage stressors in her life and eat right. HUGE difference. She and her sisters often "go at it" which leaves my youngest daughter devastated and the household in an emotional upheavel. I realize that I have been managing them for years and the stress has taken its toll on me. But I am getting help where my daughters refuse.

My husband and I realize we may need to ask our middle daughter to move out. NEVER thought I would be speaking/typing these words!

As I recover my health, I can also "sense" those BPD tendencies creeping in... .I think for a years, I have self medicated with food and been mildly depressed. And now that I no longer "self medicate" and the depression has lifted, I am sensing my BPD rearing its head. Thankfully, I can name it now... .and seek help if necessary.

[lbjnltx]

Thanks for coming back and posting Sandraleann

How old are all of your girls?

lbj

[livednlearned]

Hi Sandraleann1,

I admire your self-awareness so much. It takes a lot to recognize what you describe, and you have also experienced a lot, not only with your own healthy, but your middle daughter leaving, then returning. Are all of your daughters in their teens?

It must be hard what you're going through with your middle daughter. You mentioned that she left, which was so hard, and then came back, which was also hard. Not only for you and your husband, but for your youngest. And now to be feeling that the middle daughter should move out. It's a lot! I can understand why you might sense the BPD tendencies creeping in.

What helps you stay so resilient with so much going on around you? It sounds stressful, but you are also getting help for yourself. That speaks volumes about you.



LnL