Abuse dilemma...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So my ex emails me and says S2 hurt his knee bad enough to need a doctor. Ex says she doesn't know what happened. D11 says "I think I did it." S2 says "Mom hurt me." My attorney is taking his time getting back to me. Therapist thinks D11 is covering for Mom. I've spoken with DHS but I'm reluctant to file a report. Ex is masterful at blaming me and I'm scared this might bite me back. Ex does have a police incident report against her from last year  from a physical altercation with me. Any advice?

[kepp81]

So my ex emails me and says S2 hurt his knee bad enough to need a doctor. Ex says she doesn't know what happened. D11 says "I think I did it." S2 says "Mom hurt me." My attorney is taking his time getting back to me. Therapist thinks D11 is covering for Mom. I've spoken with DHS but I'm reluctant to file a report. Ex is masterful at blaming me and I'm scared this might bite me back. Ex does have a police incident report against her from last year  from a physical altercation with me. Any advice?

[catnap]

Was DHS involved thru the medical personnel treating the injury? 

Therapist is saying D11 is covering for Mom

S2 says Mom hurt him

She has a history of lashing out physically

YES, you do want to pursue this, but not prior to speaking to your attorney. 

In what way do you think this could bite you back? 

[kepp81]

Was DHS involved thru the medical personnel treating the injury? 

Therapist is saying D11 is covering for Mom

S2 says Mom hurt him

She has a history of lashing out physically

YES, you do want to pursue this, but not prior to speaking to your attorney. 

In what way do you think this could bite you back? 

DHS wasn't notified because a knee injury isn't a typical abuse injury. I have videos of him saying "mom hurt me" and a video of daughter saying she *thinks* she did it. Daughter is so adamant she did it that it's... .a little strange. I've spoken with DHS and they may or may not be interested in the knee injury. However, DHS is very interested in the police incident report and they've pressured me to file a report so it's on the record.

I've also noticed S2 is reluctant to approach his mom. For example, one day she called out to him during an exchange, and he stood next to me and didn't move. He also looks back at me several times when I leave.

To be perfectly honest, she scares me. She said some nasty things at trial. The trial transcripts were fun to read. She contradicted herself literally from one question to the next, and backtracked and changed her story when my attorney was skeptical of her answers. But, somehow she won custody. I'm afraid of losing the little bit of custody I have (every other weekend, no dinners).

[david]

Isn't the therapist obligated to report physical abuse ?

[goateeki]

I know that this sounds a little extreme but I would not wait a second to involve every single authority that I could if I thought that my 2 y/o child's physical safety might be at risk.  Unwell adults do bad things to their own children every single day... .

This is going to be a low priority issue for most attorneys -- not sure how it fits into what an attorney normally does. I don't think it implicates attorney representation and at best, he will say that if you believe that your child has been hurt by your ex, then report it to the proper authorities and cooperate in their investigation. 

[kepp81]

I know that this sounds a little extreme but I would not wait a second to involve every single authority that I could if I thought that my 2 y/o child's physical safety might be at risk.  Unwell adults do bad things to their own children every single day... .

This is going to be a low priority issue for most attorneys -- not sure how it fits into what an attorney normally does. I don't think it implicates attorney representation and at best, he will say that if you believe that your child has been hurt by your ex, then report it to the proper authorities and cooperate in their investigation. 

This is the best advice I've been able to get so far. My attorney still hasn't responded after two days, and it's frustrating.

I was so shocked that the Trial Court believed her the first time around, and I'm a little reluctant to speak up because of it. She puts on such a great "game face" that I'm afraid she'll turn the tables on me. She's already been sending emails asking that I please feed the kids when I have them.

I don't have solid proof she did anything, but I can imagine that during one of her fits of anger that S2 got in the way and was bumped/pushed/grabbed. Daughter also told the therapist that when I'm (Dad) is "mean" to Mom (through emails) "it's like a tornado went through the house. She starts yelling at everyone and gets snappy". I remember being around that. It's unpleasant.

S2 has had scratches on the side of his face several times as well, and I've now seen a picture of a "bug bite" D11 had that the babysitter was so concerned about that she took a picture.

I keep playing the "mom hurt me" over and over in my head. He's two, so is he telling the truth or just using the words he knows? I'm really agonizing over this.

[goateeki]

Kepp, don't agonize.  We pay taxes so you won't have to.  Utilize authorities.  Look, i don't mean to be judgmental here but do you really want to roll the dice with the safety of your baby son?  It's a s***ty situation but try to think clearly and be decisive.  Maybe it's all an accident, or maybe she has taken to hurting your kids.  I wouldn't want to be conjecturing about that sort of thing, do you see what I'm saying? 

[ImaFita]

So my ex emails me and says S2 hurt his knee bad enough to need a doctor. Ex says she doesn't know what happened. D11 says "I think I did it." S2 says "Mom hurt me." My attorney is taking his time getting back to me. Therapist thinks D11 is covering for Mom. I've spoken with DHS but I'm reluctant to file a report. Ex is masterful at blaming me and I'm scared this might bite me back. Ex does have a police incident report against her from last year  from a physical altercation with me. Any advice?

I am going through something similar, although I don't have really have access to my son yet.

Currently undergoing supervised visits - which are being cancelled left, right and centre because my son is 'apparently' sick.

She has toned the extent of sickness down atm, now it is just "He doesn't want to attend visits, he is feeling unwell and uncomfy"

Every fortnight this happens, but I don't mind because it is all documented.

I don't have access to his doctor yet, but once court is over I will have access - and I expect to find a lot of unnecessary doctor visits.

[catnap]

How did DHS become involved?