Is there anyone else who has dealt with this issue blending families? We aren't 100% sure the son has BPD but is already developing some symptoms from it.
Pick me! Pick me!
I'm ten years in. Life is good. I have two sons, 15 and 18, and three stepdaughters 12, 15, and 17. It's been a long, difficult and very fulfilling road. You're in the right place.
I do think there are a couple of positive factors going for you.
1.) Therapy is a huge benefit when it comes to stepfamily issues
2.) The kids are all under 13. Sounds crazy, but statistically speaking you fare far better in these situations if you get married before the children are teenagers.
I think there is a fantasy that we all have that this is going to be easy. I mean loving our husbands is easy, so loving their children and them loving us back (along with OUR children) should be easy.
But this stuff isn't just throwing us all together and hoping for the best. There are small things that we don't realize --- like did you know that experts recommend not to treat these new families like nuclear ones where EVERYONE is included in everything? Stepfamilies/Divorces are about building one on one relationships. It's about not taking family trips all the time, but taking your new stepson shopping by yourself. Or you taking your own daughter for some mommy time. Things like that.
And to throw a little empathy in the kiddos' direction, it would be hard for a child to embrace such a dramatic change so quickly. (3 weeks isn't very long) I understand why you did it that way, but they just don't understand it. Kids don't always cope very well - especially one who has anxiety issues.
What is the therapist suggesting so far?
Just out of curiosity, where's your daughters dad?