going to meet her for the first time since split

[Infern0]

My story is plastered all over this site as are my ever changing thoughts and feelings on the situation.

I have had very LC since the split,  but she has asked to see me, and wants to just ease in and see if we can reconnect.

I'm not sure how I feel about anything tbh but I have agreed to meet.

While in our RS I had no idea she was BPD,  and I was woefully uneducated on her other issues, bulimia,  self harming etc. I just had no real knowledge on it and thought I could "love her better" good grief... .

Anyways.  I don't even know what I should say,  how I should act? I don't want to trigger her. In a way I'd like to apologize for my part in things. Because lord knows I did some things really badly not knowing she has BPD. But I don't know,  maybe it's better just to try and start fresh.

This whole thing has me feeling so tense and nervous, but I want to do it, I want to see if there is anything salvageable.  I asked her to think about it for a week and if she still wants to see me I'd come. She did wait a week and still wants to.

I can scarcely belive it,  the way things ended and we are going to sit down over coffee.  If it was anyone else I'd never do this. But then again anyone else wouldn't want to see me I don't think.  Pure and utter carnage it was.

[Suspicious1]

I don't think I'd be able to resist that coffee either, even if it was just to sit down with a better sense of perspective, and just *see how it feels*. I suspect that given the distance of the last few months, I'd be less tolerant and more able to see things almost as a third party; detached and observant. Sometimes I find it helps to poke at that bruise and see if it still hurts.

Hope it goes the way you want it to, anyway.