my husband has BPD now my son does too.

[dee869]

hi my name is dee .its been a nightmare here for years due to my husbands BPD i,v found it at times to cope.My 18 year old son is now showing very simular traits as well.I,m on the point of leaving them all as the sudden swing of moods and verbal abuse has got so bad.i feel i,m just here as a house keeper and verbal punchbag.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi dee869

Welcome to bpdfamily and thanks for posting this introduction. I am sorry that you're in this difficult situation but I am very happy that you've come here looking for support. BPD is a challenging disorder and many of our members can relate to what it's like having a BPD partner and/or children.

Has your husband been officially diagnosed with BPD? You mention your son is now showing BPD traits as well. Could you tell us a bit more about the specific behaviors of your husband and son that you're having a hard time dealing with? You specifically mention feeling like being a verbal punchbag. Are both your husband and son being verbally abusive to you?

[NorthernGirl]

Hello dee869. I'll join Kwamina in saying 

I'm sorry you find yourself in the position of having a husband with BPD, and now possibly your son. You've come to the right place for some support.

Like Kwamina, I'm curious about what behaviors you have seen in your son and husband. Sometimes children may take on some qualities from their parent with BPD, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are BPD.

You may want to read about BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independence and see if there is anything in there that will help you to deal with the verbal abuse you mentioned.

Please tell us more and we will do our best to support you on your journey.