Anyone ever had their BP prowling around their house at nights?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Hi all

I'm kinda freaking out a bit today, since I had an incident this morning, and am wondering if it is BP that might be responsible again.

Here's a short history;

BP lived with me for the first 2 years of our 4 year (on and off) relationship.

After the first 2 years, due to his extreme penchant for violence and troublemaking, I was forced to ask him to return to his elderly parents, (he still called himself homeless however).

Several times over the 16 months that he stayed at his parents, he would return to my home to stay (for short periods only), and always due to the fact that his aggression/violence ruined the safety at my home.

Relating to this all, BP really hated my family/friends from day 1, and it didn't help that late in 2011, my daughter asked if her fiancé could move in as a boarder. I said 'Yes' after we had sat down and discussed it all, I even discussed it with BP!

My son had already gone back to stay with his Dad, (he couldn't live with the anxiety that BP caused for us all).

Unfortunately, from the day my son-inlaw to be arrived, BP began a vendetta against him too.

Fast forward to June 2013, and BP's parents have already given him a years notice that they would be selling their home and buying another smaller one, (easier to maintain for them). They informed BP that he was to find other accommodation, and he ignored them, yet ranted on endlessly about them to me, (dangerously at times too).

In that June, when he obviously realised they were serious, I had gone up to spend the night with him, again, in his outdoor shed-room. During the middle of the night, BP woke me up verbally abusing me, and acting very dangerously towards me.

When in the end, I stood up to him and told him to stop it, he turned on me, physically assaulting me, threatening my life, and smashing my phone, car. My keys and wallet were thrown outside into the rain/darkness, and I was so afraid he was going to kill me, that I peed my pants.

I hobbled off in the darkness/rain, with no shoes on and freaking out.

Later, the 3rd house I found opened their door, and let me in to call the Police, (they were 3 doors down and knew of the same struggle that BP's parents had with him), this was chiefly the reason BP's parents had to ask him to leave.

I call the Police, and over an hour later, they arrive.

I go with them to BP's outdoor room to try and collect my stuff, when we arrive, BP is sitting in the carport outside his room, chain smoking my cigarettes, (yea, he didn't break them of course).

BP (as always) tries to minimise the damages, but when he realises that I am still going and the Police are staying until I collect what is left of my stuff, he then turns the tables, and paints me black to the Police, (lying of course).

I am so frustrated that they even listen to him that I can't wait to get out of there, and drive off home traumatised, with no hope for the law in this country.

For the rest of June/July, BP tries to make up for his actions, (offering to buy me another phone but since it is paramount that I have one because I work in isolation at nights) I have already had to take care of that before BP bothers to contact me.

He finds out that I have one, and loses it again. Days later he phones back, and invites me up again, like nothing much has happened.

I explain that I cannot return to see him, unless he promises me that this will NEVER happen again.

Immediately, he becomes enraged, and starts screaming at me on the phone, and then hangs up. I get the Silent Treatment for the following 3-4 months. Initially I try to call 2 times, and email once, and am ignored, so I go NC as well after this point.

In September, I receive a newspaper clipping in the post from him, (addressed from his parents new home). No letter enclosed.

In August, my daughters partner begins working remotely again, (fly in fly out). The morning he flew out, my daughter posted on Facebook about it, (not thinking her posts were public which I figure and confirm later).

The night of son inlaws earlier departure, I have a prowler outside my window, tapping on it. This awakens me immediately and I freak out.

It all seems too coincidental however, so having a suspicion it might be BP, (perhaps trying to drive me back into his arms) I snarl loudly at the window that I know who it is outside and they can *&^%$ off.

I hear the loud thud of the footsteps running off in the night, and then a car drive off in a hurry, (which sounds/looks like BP's car).

Enter November that year, BP returns out of the blue, and manipulates/lies his way back into my life. I am sucked in again.

By March he has been back to his nasty/dangerous behaviour for several months, and my family are aware of it.

During the time BP was back, they decided to move out and get their own place, offering me a chance to cede responsibility and board with them this time. Initially I say I will think seriously about that.

By March 2014, they have a new place, and are to move in early April.

In March BP is acting out really badly and violently, and if I don't act, I will lose my job, (he is harassing me severely at work too).

I am forced to call the Police over yet another incident on his behalf, this time involving myself and a member of the public that BP tries to run over too.

I go NC, and decide to move from my house with my family. I realise that if I stay there, BP knows where I am, and will keep returning and harassing me. Knowing how weak and tired I already am from all his drama over the past few years, was the biggest part of that, along with feeling safe too.

By April, I have left that house, and all matters are tidied up and finished.

Fast forward to June this year, BP calls, and proceeds to rant angrily at me for several hours, (gets his closure). I say Nothing, but eventually stand up to him and he hangs up on me.

By August, I am driving along one day and pull up to some lights, there he is beside me, tooting. I wave and drive off. My heart is beating loudly in my chest at seeing him, half yearning, half dreading he will follow.

He doesn't.

2 weeks later, I receive a call at 6am, I am at work and rushing. It is BP, (never called from his mobile in 3 years together!)

I talk with him, (he tells me of his latest drama) and he wants to keep talking to me over a week, (also wants me to text him Goodnight like I used to).

During that week, I tell BP that if his life is ever in danger again, to call me, and I will try and help. That is all I can offer. By the end of that week listening to his bull has seriously compromised my own mental health again, and I just stop calling him.

I don't hear from him again.

Fast forward to 4am this morning.

On Thursday just past, my daughter and her partner flew out for a long weekend holiday, arriving back on this coming Monday. I had no problems until early this morning, when I awoke with a start.

I could hear someone knocking on my back sliding door, (which means they jumped the side fence), and then they were knocking on my window and trying the doors too. I was freaking out totally. No point calling the Police, since they wont get here anyway until its too late, (hopefully not but you never know in this city).

I could also hear their footsteps thudding, and the thudding of them jumping over the fence several times. The neighbours dog was going off and running up and down the fence, then all of a sudden it went quiet, which freaked me out again.

I could still hear the person outside, so wondered if they had thrown it some food, (I left some outside for my compost heap).

What do you think?

Do you think my EX could be the prowler, based on his past performance?

[rollercoaster24]

Hi all

I'm kinda freaking out a bit today, since I had an incident this morning, and am wondering if it is BP that might be responsible again.

Here's a short history;

BP lived with me for the first 2 years of our 4 year (on and off) relationship.

After the first 2 years, due to his extreme penchant for violence and troublemaking, I was forced to ask him to return to his elderly parents, (he still called himself homeless however).

Several times over the 16 months that he stayed at his parents, he would return to my home to stay (for short periods only), and always due to the fact that his aggression/violence ruined the safety at my home.

Relating to this all, BP really hated my family/friends from day 1, and it didn't help that late in 2011, my daughter asked if her fiancé could move in as a boarder. I said 'Yes' after we had sat down and discussed it all, I even discussed it with BP!

My son had already gone back to stay with his Dad, (he couldn't live with the anxiety that BP caused for us all).

Unfortunately, from the day my son-inlaw to be arrived, BP began a vendetta against him too.

Fast forward to June 2013, and BP's parents have already given him a years notice that they would be selling their home and buying another smaller one, (easier to maintain for them). They informed BP that he was to find other accommodation, and he ignored them, yet ranted on endlessly about them to me, (dangerously at times too).

In that June, when he obviously realised they were serious, I had gone up to spend the night with him, again, in his outdoor shed-room. During the middle of the night, BP woke me up verbally abusing me, and acting very dangerously towards me.

When in the end, I stood up to him and told him to stop it, he turned on me, physically assaulting me, threatening my life, and smashing my phone, car. My keys and wallet were thrown outside into the rain/darkness, and I was so afraid he was going to kill me, that I peed my pants.

I hobbled off in the darkness/rain, with no shoes on and freaking out.

Later, the 3rd house I found opened their door, and let me in to call the Police, (they were 3 doors down and knew of the same struggle that BP's parents had with him), this was chiefly the reason BP's parents had to ask him to leave.

I call the Police, and over an hour later, they arrive.

I go with them to BP's outdoor room to try and collect my stuff, when we arrive, BP is sitting in the carport outside his room, chain smoking my cigarettes, (yea, he didn't break them of course).

BP (as always) tries to minimise the damages, but when he realises that I am still going and the Police are staying until I collect what is left of my stuff, he then turns the tables, and paints me black to the Police, (lying of course).

I am so frustrated that they even listen to him that I can't wait to get out of there, and drive off home traumatised, with no hope for the law in this country.

For the rest of June/July, BP tries to make up for his actions, (offering to buy me another phone but since it is paramount that I have one because I work in isolation at nights) I have already had to take care of that before BP bothers to contact me.

He finds out that I have one, and loses it again. Days later he phones back, and invites me up again, like nothing much has happened.

I explain that I cannot return to see him, unless he promises me that this will NEVER happen again.

Immediately, he becomes enraged, and starts screaming at me on the phone, and then hangs up. I get the Silent Treatment for the following 3-4 months. Initially I try to call 2 times, and email once, and am ignored, so I go NC as well after this point.

In September, I receive a newspaper clipping in the post from him, (addressed from his parents new home). No letter enclosed.

In August, my daughters partner begins working remotely again, (fly in fly out). The morning he flew out, my daughter posted on Facebook about it, (not thinking her posts were public which I figure and confirm later).

The night of son inlaws earlier departure, I have a prowler outside my window, tapping on it. This awakens me immediately and I freak out.

It all seems too coincidental however, so having a suspicion it might be BP, (perhaps trying to drive me back into his arms) I snarl loudly at the window that I know who it is outside and they can *&^%$ off.

I hear the loud thud of the footsteps running off in the night, and then a car drive off in a hurry, (which sounds/looks like BP's car).

Enter November that year, BP returns out of the blue, and manipulates/lies his way back into my life. I am sucked in again.

By March he has been back to his nasty/dangerous behaviour for several months, and my family are aware of it.

During the time BP was back, they decided to move out and get their own place, offering me a chance to cede responsibility and board with them this time. Initially I say I will think seriously about that.

By March 2014, they have a new place, and are to move in early April.

In March BP is acting out really badly and violently, and if I don't act, I will lose my job, (he is harassing me severely at work too).

I am forced to call the Police over yet another incident on his behalf, this time involving myself and a member of the public that BP tries to run over too.

I go NC, and decide to move from my house with my family. I realise that if I stay there, BP knows where I am, and will keep returning and harassing me. Knowing how weak and tired I already am from all his drama over the past few years, was the biggest part of that, along with feeling safe too.

By April, I have left that house, and all matters are tidied up and finished.

Fast forward to June this year, BP calls, and proceeds to rant angrily at me for several hours, (gets his closure). I say Nothing, but eventually stand up to him and he hangs up on me.

By August, I am driving along one day and pull up to some lights, there he is beside me, tooting. I wave and drive off. My heart is beating loudly in my chest at seeing him, half yearning, half dreading he will follow.

He doesn't.

2 weeks later, I receive a call at 6am, I am at work and rushing. It is BP, (never called from his mobile in 3 years together!)

I talk with him, (he tells me of his latest drama) and he wants to keep talking to me over a week, (also wants me to text him Goodnight like I used to).

During that week, I tell BP that if his life is ever in danger again, to call me, and I will try and help. That is all I can offer. By the end of that week listening to his bull has seriously compromised my own mental health again, and I just stop calling him.

I don't hear from him again.

Fast forward to 4am this morning.

On Thursday just past, my daughter and her partner flew out for a long weekend holiday, arriving back on this coming Monday. I had no problems until early this morning, when I awoke with a start.

I could hear someone knocking on my back sliding door, (which means they jumped the side fence), and then they were knocking on my window and trying the doors too. I was freaking out totally. No point calling the Police, since they wont get here anyway until its too late, (hopefully not but you never know in this city).

I could also hear their footsteps thudding, and the thudding of them jumping over the fence several times. The neighbours dog was going off and running up and down the fence, then all of a sudden it went quiet, which freaked me out again.

I could still hear the person outside, so wondered if they had thrown it some food, (I left some outside for my compost heap).

What do you think?

Do you think my EX could be the prowler, based on his past performance?

[Infern0]

Oh good lord.

Do you have a male friend or family member who can stay with you for a while.

Based on everything it probably is the nutjob doing this.

Do you live in America?  If so you can defend your property,  a male friend can give him a pasting,  might be the attitude adjustment he needs. I'd do it for you if I lived there.

[ReluctantSurvivor]

Personally I think it might be time to file an "order of protection" with the local courts for him and persue a restraining order.  A large dog or some defensive items and the training to use them couldn't hurt either.

[Aussie0zborn]

You should have had a restraining order against this man a long, long time ago. Still, its never too late.