My son, 22, quit talking to our family and I am not handling it well

[wildchild]

Hi,  I adopted this beautiful sweet boy at age 13 and have loved him from day one like my own.  However, we have struggled and his behaviors have made it impossible for our family to function. I, in a fit of anger kicked him out.  Now, because I know he has BPD, feel extremely guilty.  I was just at my breaking point and couldn't take it anymore.  He was displaying typical BPD behaviors but because he was adopted I feel we have cause undue trouble.  He will not talk to me. Doesn't want to see.  I have not been able to eat or sleep in a week.  I have cried uncontrollably for 7 days. My husband forced me to doc and I am taking something to help with my mood.  I have now decided I can't do this with out the support of other people who have the same problem because no one understands.  They all give advice that is good and well for a person with no BPD but you just don't talk to these people the same way.  I need support.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, wildchild &  

I'm so sorry that you are having things so tough with your son; you are right: We really do need to talk to our BPD loved ones in a different way, and people who haven't had to deal with that really cannot understand... .You are among family here, wildchild, and I'm so glad you found us  

I would like to invite you to check out the Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD Board, where the members there are all parents of BPD kids, like you, and where each one of us truly know what you are going through and understand how you feel. And, we also have some great Suggested Reading for members who are supporting a son or daughter with BPD. On the Parenting Board, to the right-hand side of that page, you will find many links where you will learn that different way to talk to your son, in a way that doesn't push every one of his buttons. Many of us have found that Communication using validation and the TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth can make our relationships with our BPD loved ones a lot less stressful, and better for the whole family.

Please join us on the Parenting a Son or Daughter suffering from BPD Board, wildchild... .We would love to hear more of your story, and to help you deal with your troubles with your son