I still at times think everything was my fault.

[peiper]

She had gaslighted me so much at times I still at times think everything was my fault. Even though she was the one that cheated. About the only thing I did was get miserable and shut down at times so I wouldn't have to engage in the insanity.

[123Phoebe]

Hi peiper

Blah to cheating!  That's no way to be in a relationship.  I can see how you'd want to protect yourself from that madness    Can you describe the way she gaslighted?

[peiper]

So so many tests. You need to do this , do that. After doing a lot of them I finally said sc5ew it because those tests were never going to be over and I would always be the bad guy. Her thinly vailed insults were the worst. Like asking if Id passed gas. I asked why and she replyed because you smell like crap.

[Blimblam]

Ugh the gas lighting,

It nearly killed me. Have you seem the film gas light? It can be seen for free on dailymotion. 

[peiper]

It nearly killed me to. Im still trying to crawl out of that hole I let her put me in.

[Blimblam]

Pieper,

What was your mother like?

[peiper]

She had some problems, always the victim . Why Blim ?

[Blimblam]

She had some problems, always the victim . Why Blim ?

Have you thought about exploring that with a therapist?

[peiper]

She had some problems, always the victim . Why Blim ?

Have you thought about exploring that with a therapist?

Oh yeah ! I always had my dad painted as the jerk but this has really made me think about things.

[Blimblam]

She had some problems, always the victim . Why Blim ?

Have you thought about exploring that with a therapist?

Oh yeah ! I always had my dad painted as the jerk but this has really made me think about things.

Dude I know what you mean. It was gut wrenching and heart breaking when i realized.

[peiper]

She had some problems, always the victim . Why Blim ?

Have you thought about exploring that with a therapist?

Oh yeah ! I always had my dad painted as the jerk but this has really made me think about things.

Dude I know what you mean. It was gut wrenching and heart breaking when i realized.

Exactly. Wish my dad was still alive so I could say Im sorry

[Springle]

I feel for you I really do. Gaslighting is such a damaging abuse technique because it makes us question our whole humility, values/morals, sanity and just ourself as a person.

My pwBPD told me I had BPD numerous times, in all fairness I may have traits but just from me saying I felt a bit like a failure she jumped straight in with 'sounds like you my have BPD too'. I had depression, that's more likely why I felt like a failure, and she knew that too. She used to tell me pills and therapy were useless, that my very natural emotional state and behaviour towards a painful break up was 'extreme' and that she would 'care for me' so I didn't do 'anything silly' (thereby leading me into doing more crazy things, like a little puppet). She told me to call her if I ever felt like cutting or harming myself... .she would purposely ignore my texts/not pick up my calls in my time of need, to make me feel more insignificant so I would cut more, then when I told her she would tell me I was 'stupid!', 'don't ever do that again!' She then would set me up in awkward situations with her exh and mutual friends of myself and my non-ex to then illustrate my 'craziness' and 'erratic' behaviour to them, as if I was a leper or something! 'Keep away from her, she's dangerous!' when all it was was understandable hurting that a r/s that had meant a lot to me was coming to an end, she took advantage of me, she could smell my weakness.

It was almost clever, and scary, oh so very scary.