proving parental alienation

[Eco]

Is it possible to prove my ex is trying to alienate me from my daughter? all I have is her obvious attempts to block me from events and her anger and hatred towards me in front of my daughter. Is that enough? or are there any thing else I can do. I don't know for sure but I have strong suspicions that she runs me down and projects me as the enemy to my daughter.

anyone have any experience with parental alienation?

thanks for the help

[Nope]

If it is happening then it is only going to get worse. The first step right now is using pictures and videos so that in the future you can prove that you are an involved father and that you and your child have had a positive and loving relationship. Also, read everything you can on parental alienation. As for proving that it is happening, proving that her rages happen in front of the child will go a long way.

[ImaFita]

Is it possible to prove my ex is trying to alienate me from my daughter? all I have is her obvious attempts to block me from events and her anger and hatred towards me in front of my daughter. Is that enough? or are there any thing else I can do. I don't know for sure but I have strong suspicions that she runs me down and projects me as the enemy to my daughter.

anyone have any experience with parental alienation?

thanks for the help

Yeah, I understand your frustrating Eco, I have been alienated from my son for 4 years - haven't even been able to really see him.

Just going through all the supervised visit stuff now, and I am not even allowed to call myself DAD to my son in the visits.

Like yourself, I have been ran down for 4 years, even had to move out of town, etc.

I don't what she tells me son, but she was happy I didn't exist, and she doesn't want him calling me DAD.

My advice would be to go see a good forensic psychologist, that is what I've done.

I can't even do much about my alienation until I am past these visits.

[PinkieV]

My DH saw his boys a handful of times in 10+ years. She wouldn't refer to him as dad, although the younger one still called him that when we got emergency custody. My older SS referred to him as J-- as he was adopted by my DH and in contact with his bio dad. Now he calls him "my dad" or "J-Pop" as he's seen how much my DH loves him and wants what's best for him, unlike his uBPDmom and uNPDdad. Please read up on PAS, get into counseling, and fight this with everything you've got. My DH got a happy ending, which is really rare after so long. And he lost a lot of years in between.

[Eco]

thanks for all the advice and support

[scraps66]

It is not necessarily possible to "prove" that alienation is happening.  What is better to prove and support is that alienating behavior of the other parent is in fact happening.  That information in the hands of a skilled Master or behavioral professional can then explain how a child may, or may not, react to the alienating behavior. 

[ForeverDad]

The mental health community has been resistant to PAS or Parental Alienation Syndrome.  They don't want to attribute blame to the result - why child is alienated.  So it is best to address this as we do with the ex in court, if we have a diagnosis, fine, reference it, but still focus on the parent's poor behaviors, in this case the poor, obstructing, blaming (hence alienating) behaviors.  Courts don't usually care about a person's mental health unless it's a murder case, otherwise they stick to the behaviors.  We are wise to do likewise.

Also, courts don't try to change a person, they deal with them as they are.  We are wise to do likewise.  As in, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.  Yes, courts may order Anger Management but generally once completed courts don't care whether it had an effect or not on the long term behaviors.

[Eco]

[quoteThe mental health community has been resistant to PAS or Parental Alienation Syndrome.  They don't want to attribute blame to the result - why child is alienated.  So it is best to address this as we do with the ex in court, if we have a diagnosis, fine, reference it, but still focus on the parent's poor behaviors, in this case the poor, obstructing, blaming (hence alienating) behaviors.  Courts don't usually care about a person's mental health unless it's a murder case, otherwise they stick to the behaviors.  We are wise to do likewise.

Also, courts don't try to change a person, they deal with them as they are.  We are wise to do likewise.  As in, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.  Yes, courts may order Anger Management but generally once completed courts don't care whether it had an effect or not on the long term behaviors.]

good advice thanks FD

[gherkins]

Document, document, document.  If we call to talk to the kiddo, and her mom doesn't answer, it goes in the notebook.  If we receive inappropriate text or emails, they do into a special file.  It helps if you can say,  "on July 13, this happened."