My d is doing well in that way that makes me nervous...

[SeaSprite]

Anyone else have this issue?

My d17 (pregnant, living at home, older bf, GED and taking community college classes) is doing really well right now. Which should be good news. I feel horrible looking a gift horse in the mouth.

But... .

She is starting to seem a little grandiose. Bragging. Very up. Which is often a precursor to a drop. It's the reason for a minute I thought she might be bipolar, but she did not meet criteria... .she looks more BPD but the T and P didn't use that dx. P talked about her depression having a "behavioral component" and the T started using DBT with her.

So the pattern usually looks like things start going well, then d17 starts getting really full of herself, really happy and overconfident. And then... .something bad happens. Or there are things she is hiding from us that are bad for her. (She looked really good and happy when she first met the older bf and was dating him behind our backs for 3 weeks before getting found out)

She has tampons in her purse... .which is kind of weird if you are pregnant isn't it? (I am sure she is actually pregnant... .I was at the doc with her and I've seen the ultrasounds. Unless something has changed... .) Do I ask her about it?

I feel ridiculous being worried when she is happy and going to school.

But... .

But... .

Anyone else have this pattern?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[js friend]

Oh yes I remember feeling the same way Seasprite.Hard to say enjoy it while you can when ultimatley it never lasts.Good times have turned out to be dd creeping around in some way behind our backs and  just the calm before the storm and the pattern has always been the same... .dds spirits seem lifted... .shes talkative, very productive,makes plans, out of bed early  etc ... .then BAM! ... .it  all comes crashing down when she gets found out or busted for whatever she had been secretly up to... I believe that doing this stuff actually gives her a buzz and actually lifts her moods, especaily as she was quoted as saying to a friend of hers that" being good is boring" and she finds it hard to go down the right path when the other one looks more exciting

And the sanitary stuff when pregnant... .my dd19 did the same with both her pregnancies. She brought sanitary stuff all the way through her pregnancies and used to carry them around in her bag... .I think it is a denial thing.Maybe the same for your dd if anyone aks her if she is pregnant then she can pull out the tampons and  say would "i be carrying these around with these if i was pregnant?" Who would if they are pregnant .its like a smokescreen.

My dd has never faced up to anything OR taken owernship of anything she does.She hid both her pregnancies too until she was really big and couldnt deny it anymore.Even with her last I asked her outright and she denied it to my face, yet kept all her hospital and drs appoitnments.

How many months is your dd now Seasprite? Should she be showing by now or feeling the baby move?Have your seen her belly when she is undressing or is she all covered up? Is she getting any bigger? Is she still talking about having the baby and making any plans like before?

Youre right things could have changed but in our dds case walking around with sanitiary stuff while she was pregnant was just another crazy part of dd's mental illlness.

... .

[theplotthickens]

My dd acts like that when she is getting manic.  They won't diagnose her until she has a full blown manic episode.  :)oes she do any task-driven behaviors?  Stay up for days? Hypersexual? You could try doing a mania rating scale designed for adolescents.  I'd monitor her closely if you have bipolar in your family.

[SeaSprite]

If she is actually bipolar, she would be the type with hypomania... .mild mania. But it actually looks more reactive than bipolar... .her moods are a reaction to what's going on around her and can flip fast or sort of build for a while, depending.

She sounds a lot like your d js... .I do think she is still pregnant and she talks/acts like she is planning to be a mom. She makes no secret of it, including posting photos of the ultrasound on instagram, so I really am puzzled by the tampons. I'm not ready to ask her though... .her answer would only have a slight chance of being the truth so there isn't much point. 

I think she does get a rush from "getting away with stuff". She likes to pretend to be very responsible, very on top of things no matter what she's doing when I'm not around. It's why I was too late figuring out she wasn't taking her pills correctly, she said of course she takes them, if she misses a day she spots for a month amd its a pain. But... .no, she wasn't taking them regularly at all.

So... .i love her, but I don't trust her. And I'll enjoy the calm while it lasts best I can... .

Except for the worry about what's up or what's waiting. Better that than actually being IN crisis! 

[Kate4queen]

Yes. my son would be exactly the same, funny, super happy, chatty, outgoing and yet... .it was always the precursor to the next big low and was just as worrying to live with as the depression and rage. Just two extremes of behavior neither of them easy to deal with. And also there was a sense that he was gloating about things we didn't know about-which at that point usually meant drugs.

So I totally get it

[Stressedoutstepmom]

We go through this, too.  We desperately want to celebrate the good times, but 9 times out of 10, something bad is lurking around the corner.  We can't trust her happiness, because it always feels overblown and out of control.  It's so exhausting and sad.  I feel your pain.