Hello SSinNYC and

You say your daughter was living with your ex until recently, does she now live with you? And you also stated that she was recently diagnosed with BPD, was this while living with your ex or after she moved from that home?
I am also glad you found this site, and I would love to hear more about your daughters situation. You can re-post on the
Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board board. This is where there are other parents who will be able to relate to you and your situation, There are also Tools and Lessons that are quite helpful in dealing with a BPD child, those are off to the right hand side of the L5 Parenting board.
I'll look for you There.