Hi fadless,
It is so frustrating when the doctors focus on such a narrow part of our whole child! I experienced this with my DD now 28. Dh and I are raising her daughter, gd9. She also has anxiety, has experienced some panic attacks thinking she is dying of heart attack, PTSD from experiences with her mom and friends in our home and car, plus ADHD. The adderall for the adhd pushes her mood also, but has been a miracle at school. She is catching up with her 4th grade standards and has made a lot of friends at school in 4th grade. She was always very quiet and 'contained' at school and acted out very aggressively at home. We have changed our approach with her and things are much better with dh and I as well as her friends.
I expect she may need mood stabilizers and/or the meds. like respiradol or seroquel as time goes by. My hope is the skills she is learning for self-reflection and self-soothing will minimize the needs for these stronger meds.
She also takes Intuniv that helps with the anxiety and hyperactivity. Does nothing for the attention issues though. She started the Intuniv end of 2nd grade. She does not tolerate a full dose for her weight - headaches and low blood pressure. She had some episodes in the neighborhood that exploded with the added anxiety before school started. The pdoc tried respiradal. It helped immediately with the violent anger. It also impacted her blood pressure plus she was getting 'chest pain'. Seemed like the influence on breast development that I have seen advertised on TV. So we took her off and the anger benefits have continued without the rispiradal.
The other thing is the tools I have gained in working with the regulating, self-soothing based models presented to me by gd's family/child T. Daniel Hughes book "Brained Based Parenting... ." opened my mind and heart to a new way of thinking about gd's behaviors. Looking below the actions to the emotion driving them. These emotions seem based in a place of fear and safety - fight/flight and/or freeze. Here is a review of this book:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=195469.0Also Heather Forbes material (beyondconsequences.com) has been very helpful, and is along the same path of response to our anxious kids as Dan Hughes... Her book "Help for Billy" is focused on school and might be helpful for you to read. If you would like more information PM me. "Personal Message" link at top to send message.
Gd has been in therapy since age 4. She was unable to be verbal with her T and would not allow me to stay in the waiting room. This also changed with the adderall. She is now talking to her T, doing some EMDR therapy for trauma issues, and is able to clearly express her needs to her T and me. She still asks me to speak for her initially with friends or their parents and this is also progressing toward greater independence. She asks her T to share with me things she has discussed in a session.
Do you participate in sessions with your DS? I have done this on a regular basis - one out of four sessions once gd was feeling safe enough to let me be in waiting room. When she wanted me in the session with her (to feel safe) she often asked me to remain quiet. I would take a book to read, or the T would give me a book to read. Sometimes I even fell asleep - exhaustion is part of parenting our struggling kids!
Keep on posting. There is no such thing here as a post that is too long. Let us know how things are going. The meds. is a process and I hope this gets figured out. Remember as our kids grow their needs change, and so do their meds.!
qcr
