Are all hurting members on here willing to recycle after all this pain

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

NO F'ING WAY!

The first time around, I stayed NC two weeks, but yearned for her.  She was stalking me, but I was strong and didn't respond.  Then in a moment of weakness I did.  Initiate the recycle.

"Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."

There is no way, shape, or form I would recycle.  I am taking healthy steps to move on with my life in a mature way.  After the first breakup I did not do this.  I self-medicated with alcohol, cigarettes, and casual sex, as well as obsessed over her.

This time I have accepted she will NOT CHANGE, she is MENTALLY ILL, and I will stay stuck in life if I have any contact with her.  This time I am getting healthy, stopped smoking and drinking, and have accepted I am not ready to date.  I am taking care of myself and looking at what kept me in this relationship 2x per week at therapy and on this wonderful site.  

So, NO, NO, and NO!

[StayOrLeave15]

NO F'ING WAY!

The first time around, I stayed NC two weeks, but yearned for her.  She was stalking me, but I was strong and didn't respond.  Then in a moment of weakness I did.  Initiate the recycle.

"Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."

There is no way, shape, or form I would recycle.  I am taking healthy steps to move on with my life in a mature way.  After the first breakup I did not do this.  I self-medicated with alcohol, cigarettes, and casual sex, as well as obsessed over her.

This time I have accepted she will NOT CHANGE, she is MENTALLY ILL, and I will stay stuck in life if I have any contact with her.  This time I am getting healthy, stopped smoking and drinking, and have accepted I am not ready to date.  I am taking care of myself and looking at what kept me in this relationship 2x per week at therapy and on this wonderful site.  

So, NO, NO, and NO!

[Rifka]

I wish I was as far along as all of you. I still miss him so much and  can't even stomach the thought of being with someone else yet :'(

Welcome,

You are missing the good memories, try and focus on the bad only, it might help you. Read these threads, we have all poured our hearts out here. It will take time for you to heal, everybodies healing time is different.

I still miss all of the amazing stuff, but I understand it wasn't who he really was and was unsustainable to continue being somebody he was not. When the real him showed, it was like the devil let loose. It was horrible. I prefer to think about those horrible times so that was able to have the strength to go no contact and heal me and think about myself and my happiness ( something they have no concern of) you will get there, time really does work for us with no contact!

Hugs to you

Rifka

[Infared]

I would not recycle under any circumstances. I would no talk to her under any circumstances.

[guy4caligirl]

Skip , thank you for making your clear view about the NC LC yesterday , it really made a difference for me , and I hope to wake everyone else that missed these threads .This is what I realized thereafter your explanation :

I am capable today of being in NC LC that I have struggled with for a while now , to feel no pressure on me anymore ,

I don't have To if I don't want to either contact or no contact it does not matter anyways detach detach detach Guy4caligirl .

Look into yourself guy4 you're no longer in a war zone, peace is around the corner all worriers looking exhausted are heading home happy as they can be , it all depends on how you carry yourself through this hard time ,Spring will come again no matter how your state of mind is at this moment in time .

No she has never being able to crush me .

(She said to me a week ago "you are tough " It looks like my replacement is weak of course she is in love !)

So  Not at all she shocked me Yes , but I used the mirror effect and let all her criticism slide over like a spoiler on the back of a car or a spoiler over the windshield of an 18 wheelers Crazy but true   .

No matter what NC LC WC MCD OCD . We will never able to change the facts . Did they build Rome in one day ?