honestly...

[llbee814]

So, for the most part I really try to use all of our tools.  Unfortunately, dd19 doesn't always follow the Protocol.  Thankfully, ds21 was here.  Otherwise,  I'm pretty sure that I would have been assaulted. In a nutshell, the main problem is that I have new boundaries that I am trying to uphold.  Dd19's boyfriend got physical with her a while ago (granted dd was the aggressor) but I can't deal with this.  Not signing off on this is okay in my home.  I have accepted behavior that is contrary to my morals, but this crosses the line for me.

Geez.  I'm soo tired.  The circular arguments.   Holes in the walls, the first in a few years.  What to say to ds21?  Thanks doesn't seem to cut it. And then the tears start. 

Hubby got woke up with the craziness... ."what's happening? "   the LAST thing I want to explain.  "The usual ' I tell him. 

Again,  soo tired.  This rollercoaster will never end.  I know this is true.  My 78 yr old mother comes out to calm her when she hears "odd noises."  Her effed up logic makes dd19 and I both laugh and cry some more.  You can't make this sh@#t up.

I'm really really tired.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rlsmith2]

Hi, I'm not an expert just a parent with a DD21 with BPD. Hang in there! I know it's an emotional roller coaster ride. I have 2 kids I recently adopted at 14 and 15 with ODD. There is never a dull moment. I have tried to remember to love them right where they are and pray myself through the crazy moments. Know that you are not alone.

[tristesse]

HI ilbee814

I'm really sorry that you are dealing with crazy right now. I agree with you, I will not tolerate abuse of DD by her BF either. She currently does not have a BF, there have been issues in the past.

It is a crazy roller coaster that we ride when we have children with BPD. I actually think it's more of a tilt-o-whirl type roller coaster, because not only do we go round and round, but we go up and down and spin crazily out of control.

It's good that you are using the tools, even if they aren't always effective. Stay the course if you can. Nobody has a BPD in their life that does follow protocol. wouldn't it be great if they did?

At the end of the day, I am glad you were not physically assaulted and that your ds was home and able to intervene. Sometimes my ds saves the day for me too.

Take care and hang in there, tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning.

[llbee814]

Rismith2 you are an amazing person!  You have a BPDd21 and still manage to take on two more teens with special needs... .blessings to you and yours.  I am humbled by your commitment to embrace no dull moments.  You are most certainly destined for a special place in heaven.  Personally, I yearn for dullness.  Boredom would be great, too.   

Tristesse, I know you are having your own tough times and greatly appreciate your taking the time to send me helpful words from your own experiences.  Such a good reminder that none of our BPD loved ones always respond according to the books and tomorrow is a new day.  It's so easy to blame ourselves FOR IT ALL!  And believe me, dd19 tells me repeatedly and often that EVERYTHING is all my fault, . 

Our new days are consisting of having to ignore the latest elephant in the room.  She is trying to be conciliatory, but is very clearly unwilling to address anything that took place.  Crazymaking, indeed. 

I worry about what it costs our other children to deal with this... .I console myself that her siblings are older, but still see such damage done despite that.  It is such a different relationship, I imagine.  Being an only child myself, I have a tough time with understanding sibling stuff and feel so badly about the garbage they have gone through with their baby sister. 

Rollercoaster and tilt-a-whirl combined cracks me up!  Now I know why I'm no fan of amusement park rides!   

[tristesse]

Ilbee814, no matter how hard it gets at times, I realize I am not the only one that suffers, that there are so many more parents out there going through the same crap, and I have gained so much from this site that if I can give even a tiny fraction of that back to somebody, I most definitely will. My heart goes out to you.