Where do you draw the line...

[hurthusband]

Ok past 2 weeks have turned my life upside down and I am not sure where the letting stuff slide from stress goes and where the making a stand comes in with this stuff with my wife... .

It all started 3 weeks ago

1. my wife is asked by her boss to give up her cleaning business to take over as the head designer at a job she just started 2 months earlier and they will need her more.  My wife talks it over with me and we decide too.  It is emotional for her but she knows its for the best

2. couple of days later my wife's father goes in for open heart surgery followed a couple of days later by my wife being informed her mom is going into hospice and has no hope of living more than a day or two.  Her father recovers well but her mother lingers and they move her to a new facility to seek other treatments

3. my wife is working remotely for work and completeing all assigntments and her boss calls and starts berating her but not about anything she has done before the boss apologizes.  The boss said horrible things like she doesnt care if her mom dies and my wife had not even said anything in the coversation.  Wife accepts apology.  Next day my wife calls boss about work and boss goes off again.  Wife's doctor says her boss is toxic and she should quit but my wife is hesitant as we need income and she just gave up her cleaning business for this woman

4. boss stops communicating with her.  even ignoring her and not answering her at the office.  closing doors in her face etc...   so my wife could not even talk to her.  Finally her boss called her while she was in the office...   Wife asked to have a meeting with her which she refused and said if she wants to quit to just quit...   so my wife really had no choice... resigned cleaned out her stuff.  gave her boss some art she knew she wanted and moved on

5. that night my wife is told this time for sure there is nothing else that can be done for her mother.  she is stuck and they are going to send her home with hospice.  my wife is torn up and her best friend who can be flakey calls her and tries to console her.  My wife says she hasnt been there for her and that she shouldnt work for that boss anymore cause how she treated my wife.  Wife's friend says they have to make a living which I also express in agreement to my wife.  My wife profusely apologizes and says she was not right with that comment.  Hurtful but the sort of thing others say, so I figure might be hurt feelings for a day or so

So here we are 5 days later.  Her friend will not take her calls, will not respond to messages or even if she is okay and alive.  My wife is crushed more by this than anything else and is dumbfounded by this reaction which she has never seen and it doesnt make sense why... .BUT... here is the problem... last month her boss fired a girl that worked at the company because the boss was upset with her kid that morning.  Over the next two weeks she cut that girl's boyfriends hours to the point he had to leave to get another job.  So our thought is that the boss fired my wife's friend basically now and my wife's friend blames my wife... OR...   the boss made up lies about my wife and told her friend to hurt their friendship.  She did that with last employee too and even while my wife was cleaning out her stuff, she could hear the boss bad mouthing her to employees in the next room with door open.  Who knows for sure because my wife fianlly went to her friends house and her husband opened the door lunged at her and screamed at her threatening to call the police if she ever came back.

Of course though all of this the pressure builds and my wife who has really handled this all better than me and the best I have ever seen her handle anything, is snapping at me on occasion.  I do not know what to do here about my own safety

[Rapt Reader]

Gee, hurthusband, things have gotten very complicated and sad for you and your wife 

I'm sorry for all of the stress you are going through... .

Of course though all of this the pressure builds and my wife who has really handled this all better than me and the best I have ever seen her handle anything, is snapping at me on occasion.  I do not know what to do here about my own safety

From something good, to something troubling... .What is happening that makes you concerned for your safety? Are you Okay, hurthusband? 

[hurthusband]

Gee, hurthusband, things have gotten very complicated and sad for you and your wife 

I'm sorry for all of the stress you are going through... .

Of course though all of this the pressure builds and my wife who has really handled this all better than me and the best I have ever seen her handle anything, is snapping at me on occasion.  I do not know what to do here about my own safety

From something good, to something troubling... .What is happening that makes you concerned for your safety? Are you Okay, hurthusband? 

my mental safety.  i am mentally worn out... basically a single parent now with wife gone, running errands for my wife as she takes care of her mother, trying to handle a new debt with her not having a job which is impossible to cover, helping her parents and of course her exploding and being verbally abusive which is worse than her hitting me or even shooting me

[Cat Familiar]

HH,

I am so sorry for all the stress in your and your wife's lives now. That is enough to send a normal, well functioning person off the deep end. My sympathies to your wife about her mother, her father's illness, her friend's betrayal and the loss of her job(s).

Actually it's a good thing for her to get away from a boss from Hell! Nobody needs to be treated like that!

[hurthusband]

HH,

I am so sorry for all the stress in your and your wife's lives now. That is enough to send a normal, well functioning person off the deep end. My sympathies to your wife about her mother, her father's illness, her friend's betrayal and the loss of her job(s).

Actually it's a good thing for her to get away from a boss from Hell! Nobody needs to be treated like that!

thank you that is kind... its hard being a rock for somebody who needs it when your in shambles yourself because of that persons past