Going to be attempting first family trip since being back in the house

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Things are still relatively smooth here.

We are traveling to her family's place for the holidays.

I can tell stress is building up in her... .plans that seemed to be in place a few days ago... when I asked today... .it's obvious that people in her family are not communicating with each other... .and assuming lots of things.

So... .I'm along for a good ride... .I suspect... .

Couple goals... .enjoy times when they are good.

If they start griping at each other... .or dysregulating over things... .to excuse myself from the room.

Looks like I have a hotel room to retreat to if needed... .so I'll be able to have a good nights sleep.

I wish everyone a good holiday... .I'll try to check in as much as I can.  Seems like lately I've been particularly busy at work... and haven't had much time for the boards.

[formflier]

Things are still relatively smooth here.

We are traveling to her family's place for the holidays.

I can tell stress is building up in her... .plans that seemed to be in place a few days ago... when I asked today... .it's obvious that people in her family are not communicating with each other... .and assuming lots of things.

So... .I'm along for a good ride... .I suspect... .

Couple goals... .enjoy times when they are good.

If they start griping at each other... .or dysregulating over things... .to excuse myself from the room.

Looks like I have a hotel room to retreat to if needed... .so I'll be able to have a good nights sleep.

I wish everyone a good holiday... .I'll try to check in as much as I can.  Seems like lately I've been particularly busy at work... and haven't had much time for the boards.

[123Phoebe]

Happy Thanksgiving, formflier    Hope you have a really nice time

[maxsterling]

Wow - I needed to read your post just now, as I just got off the phone with my SO, and I could tell the stress was already building   My best to you, and everyone here who is likely to face dysregulation this holiday season. 

[MaroonLiquid]

Have a good time and Happy Thanksgiving!

[GaGrl]

We're at a family reunion with over 50 people. So rather than negotiating holidays among DH's ex, the uNPD/BPD we refer to as The Dark Princess, and the children/grandchildren... .we get to deal with MY family's dBPD cousin who refuses treatment. Right now, she has cursed another cousin and is saying she won't attend Thanksgiving dinner. But there are 4 days of the weekend to go... .sigh... .50 family members and 1 PD is probably as good as a family can expect.

[formflier]

 

Just got back... .and settled back into the house... .got things sorted out from the trip... .and was thinking to myself that it had gone really well.  It had.

And then... .the dysregulation showed up.

I stayed completely calm... .of course she did it in front of the kids.  It sort of blew itself out.  She watched some TV and just went to bed.

My take is that she is going to sleep in another room... .if I understood what happened.

Standard stuff in the dysregulation... .I'm a liar... .cheater... .been stealing from my family... .she wants me gone... .

Sigh...

I'll set up a new post tomorrow... and try to work through the details... .but... .as most of us know... .the details don't matter... for a time tonight she really felt those things... .and couldn't keep them bottled up... .

[nightmoves]

Damn FormFlier... .

I have to tell you man... .really empathized with this part of your post... .

Just got back... .and settled back into the house... .got things sorted out from the trip... .and was thinking to myself that it had gone really well.  It had.

And then... .the dysregulation showed up... .

Man... .it would be far more effective simply being hit in the back of the head with a 2X4.

I am sorry man.

But ... .trya nd remember back to the days BEFORE you knew about BPD and what you were dealing with. Back then... .remember the horror when you though this was coming from a NORMAL framework... .

So - not really any consolation... .it sucks ... .

but at least the double takes/jaw on ground days are gone... .

Hang in there

[formflier]

 

Of course... .you are right Nighmoves... .

I'm going to start a separate thread about "the issue"... .then try to get some shut eye.

There is always good and bad in everything... .the good part is... .I stayed calm through the entire evening.

In a way... .sort of stood my ground... .I'll post a link in a bit to the new topic.