So... .I stopped by the house an hour ago... totally normal. Talked to her... kids... .gave her a touch and pat on back... .all was fine. I basically acted normal... .and she did too.
My plan... .is not bring anything up... .until MC... unless she does.
Max,
She sometimes goes to other rooms to sleep... .and sometimes stays in my bed. We had great sex last night... .I figured all was behind us.
So... .Sunday... .she discovers my crimes... .wigs out. Appears calm around bedtime... .but I could kinda tell she was "seething" quietly. She went to another room. I went to bed.
Next morning (yesterday) morning. I great her... she is quiet. I ask if she wants to go upstairs to cuddle and pray (our morning routine)... .she says no that she doesn't want to. (here is probably what I shouldn't have done)... .I then asked her if she would go even though she didn't want to... .and surprisingly... .she gave a clear answer... .NO. I didn't "bite" ... .just went about my business.
Then... .she got a phone call asking if she could substitute teach. I validated that she could... .that she would be great at it... .etc etc... and she said yes... .and right before she left... .we hugged... .she said maybe we should pray... we had nice prayer... .and off she went. Total demeanor shift. She had a great day as a kindergarten teacher... great discussion that night about her day. You would never know anything was ever wrong.
I was wiped out... .so I went to bed about 10... .she stayed up doing crafts. It was nice kiss goodnight... .and off I went. I awoke when she got into bed... .reached out for her... .she seemed responsive... .so we had some great sex.
This morning... a bit moody waking up... .but "fine"... .but all the signs were there that she had been stewing again for most of the night.
She calls me at work... .asked about my schedule... .why wasn't this on calendar... .that on calendar... ."did I even go to work yesterday?". I stayed calm... gave answers clear... .once... .then no JADE.
Followed by some email exchange about me not coming home... she sent... .I didn't respond.
Then... .a decent phone call this afternoon about routine house business stuff... .(actually the stolen check)... .then a nice stop by the house... .and now I'm about to go home... .to who knows what.
And... .the killer is... .I'm horribly busy at work right now. So... .I need to find some productive time tonight.
I have stood my ground against getting kicked out of my bedroom... .and so far that seems to work. My general plan is to stand my ground about getting "kicked out" of house.
I want to do that without saying NO... .and without saying I will never do that. In other words my plan is to talk a lot... .look for ways to validate... .lots of SE... .little bit of T.
My value I'm trying to live out... .is that I'm not going to be in a marriage where I get ordered around... .and comply. She can order... .I can choose to listen... .or not... .
Max,
You are right... .for years... .I've fed the monster. As long as I feel calm and in control... .so far so good there... .my plan is to not feed that anymore.
Keep the comments coming... .
And... .wish me luck... .