Physical abuse

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My BPDbf usually runs away at the first sign of conflict but recently lashed out instead and hit me several times before running away (always returning eventually). He says he's  not in control and can't remember the episode and it won't happen again but also says he can't trust himself in general at times.   I don't know if I can trust him  again either. I love him and feel stuck. Any advice from anyone who has suffered one off physical abuse?

[Loosestrife]

My BPDbf usually runs away at the first sign of conflict but recently lashed out instead and hit me several times before running away (always returning eventually). He says he's  not in control and can't remember the episode and it won't happen again but also says he can't trust himself in general at times.   I don't know if I can trust him  again either. I love him and feel stuck. Any advice from anyone who has suffered one off physical abuse?

[harbour]

Louiselovescheese

I am a bit confused. Earlier on this board your BPD partner is a woman (October 11). This time it is a male partner. Is this a new partner, or ... .?

I left mine (partly) because his uncontrolled rage got worse. I knew he had been violent to his former girlfriends, and I didn't want to wait and see if it would happen to me too. 

For how long were you together?

I would not trust this man at all. When he hit you once, what makes you think he wouldn't do it again? He takes no responsibility for his act, when he says he doesn't remember the episode. When he says that it won't happen again, and at the same time says that he can't trust himself, what does that tell you?

[Loosestrife]

It's a new partner sorry to confuse. Thanks for your advice, I think I'm taking a break from dating!

[maxen]

Hi Louise. this is not good. please take to heart what harbour has written. we have a page discussing this, TOOLS: Domestic Violence Against Women. do you feel safe now?

[Loosestrife]

yes, I am safe. 

[Samuel S.]

A nonBPD experiences all kinds of verbal and emotional abuse, and that is horrid. The physical boundary for your safety, for your life, has to be that you do not tolerate physical abuse, whether it is a slap on the face, a shove, or any other form of physical force applied by anyone. The best thing to remember is that it is something within your BPD that has been brewing and will continue to be done to you, unless you remove yourself. Your BPD can feel guilty, apologize, everything; however, it was done, and that cannot be erased!