Thoughts during NC "The last step of healing perhaps ?

[guy4caligirl]

Yes I am angry I have been for a week now that enforces NC . Great .

But why do I have this thought on my mind , the bargaining phase the shock the sad painful days are behind me , I am getting a whole lot better .

One Thing : Why do I want her to text me once it's my first time NC in 5 months , why ?

Is it self satisfaction ?

I Say I don't want to reply if she did ?

Just wanting to get over this last phase what should I do ?

Does anyone went through this last phase ?

Love to hear from you .

Guy.

[downwhim]

I feel your pain. Lots of triggers. I think it is because we still want that validation and to know that they still love us after time has slipped by. N/C two months today and I too would like a phone call or a text but I cut him off from email and he does not text (old fashioned that way). He would rather die than hear my voice on the phone because of his guilt. I know that so I am wishing for something that will not be.

But I do miss him, the good him, the kind him, the un-borderline times him, but that is not reality.

[RisingSun]

Well, if it makes you feel any better I still crave for my xw to contact me. It's been almost 6 months, full on NC. Even if she did attempt contact I wouldn't reply. But still, it would let me know she does think about me at least.

She attempted contact at least once a week during the first 3 months. After her last extinction burst she's been totally quiet. I don't know what's worse, her attempts at contact during my most vulnerable time or the dead silence that I'm experiencing now.

 

[willtimeheal]

Guy,

I do know what you are feeling. I have been NC for three months. Two days ago I got a text from my exBPDgf. She thanked me for loving her and without me she wouldn't be in the wonderful place she is now. Honestly it made me feel good at first knowing I am thought of. And then it made me want to vomit. Once again everything wass about her. Every sentence began with I. And it really annoyed me hearing how great her life is. She left me once again for someone else and  It almost destroyed me. So her texting me I thought was rude. If she really cared about me... .apologize and recognize t you did to me and then let me move on.

[Deeno02]

Im 4 months out. No contact, havent seen her or heard from her. While I really dont want to ever hear from her again, honestly, it would be nice if I could at least get a validation of my existence since I was replaced so quickly. Wishful thinking as shes caught up in the new guy and Im a turned page. Sad that they cant even do that for someone they knew cared for them.

[downwhim]

I feel the same way, after 8 years did I not exist? We were engaged and he just ran off with someone who supposedly looks like me. what an as... .ole. I would not return a call or text but with all said I have received nothing. He has moved on and I am about as lonely as it gets. Pisses me off.

[Deeno02]

I feel the same way, after 8 years did I not exist? We were engaged and he just ran off with someone who supposedly looks like me. what an as... .ole. I would not return a call or text but with all said I have received nothing. He has moved on and I am about as lonely as it gets. Pisses me off.

Sorry DW. I really am. It's just not right on so many levels.

[peiper]

For myself it seems to come and go in phases. I do know one thing if I do hear from her it's going to be more games. In the past its always been about her. Never a how are you. Always I'm lost without you, I miss you, I want to try again, my life is crap without you. Well after waking up I hope her life is crap.

[downwhim]

Yep, it sucks, if I compared last year to now when we were still in the honeymoon phase or I was... .think about it, I was alone in this phase because he was pretending. Mr. Borderline was busy preparing for his exit I am sure now.

The closer you get, the more they distance... .remember that.