I also have other family issues to deal with at the moment which is not making anything better.
i'm not trying to one-up here, but the week after my wife answered my divorce service my mother began to deteriorate and she died a few months later. i speak from experience here: make as much emotional room as you need to deal with your family stuff. those things are alive right now, the r/s isn't. i felt enormous anger too but you might be able to walk away from her and the anger a bit by attending to your family issues.
do you have a therapist?