She makes my son call him dad

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Me and my BPD ex split a year and a half ago we have a four year old son.i just found out she has moved my son in with her after 5months of knowing him and also makes my son call him dad.i noticed my son never wants to go home to her house anymore and also cries everytime I drop him off at school.also found out when I dropped him off at school the teacher was told I was not in his life even know I have him50/percent of the time

[Hostage1234]

Me and my BPD ex split a year and a half ago we have a four year old son.i just found out she has moved my son in with her after 5months of knowing him and also makes my son call him dad.i noticed my son never wants to go home to her house anymore and also cries everytime I drop him off at school.also found out when I dropped him off at school the teacher was told I was not in his life even know I have him50/percent of the time

[Harri]

Hi Hostage.  I am so sorry you are hurting so badly right now and my heart breaks for your son.  As much as I am not surprised by what your ex is doing, it still hurts especially because he is such a little guy and you obviously care very much about him. 

I do not have any practical advice except to read about parental alienation if you have not already.  I know there is a book that people often refer to over on the parenting board so you may want to repost this there as I think they have more experience and can perhaps direct you to more resources.  Gathering information will not make the hurt go away but it can help you to channel it into finding ways to help yourself and your son through all this.

[stepper123]

Hello friend,

I'm so sorry about this difficult time you are having... .it really hurts when BPD family members interfere with relationships involving innocent parties like children who don't know any better.

My only advice for you would be to always reassure your son when you see him that you love him unconditionally and will always be there when he needs you. Since you share custody you can't control what he is told by his mother. I myself grew up with a uBPD mom who turned me against my father (they were still married and lived in the same home!), and for many years I thought little of him based on what she told me. I wish he had reassured me more growing up, but eventually I realized that he was actually a wonderful and kind and, and we have worked to repair our relationship despite my mom's opinions.

Keep fighting for your son. I would advise against talking smack about his mom to him (children oftentimes burden themselves with their parents marital problems), and instead focus on your relationship with him and make sure he feels loved and welcomed in your home. That will go a long way.

[HappyChappy]

Sorry to hear about your situation. But it does sound like standard BPD rubbish, so that means others in your position will have good advise. But you need the "co-parenting after a split" section of this website. Click. They're very knowlegable about things like this. Try this link:https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=9.0