do all disagreements have to become arguments?

[montenell]

It seems at this point in my marriage that any time my wife and I have a conversation and I disagree it goes from two people talking to an argument... Is this the norm when dealing with a BPD? She's a queen/witch type so I guess it comes with the territory...

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Montenell  

Welcome. We are glad to have you.  I can understand how conversations turning into arguments can be frustrating.

Not all conversations with disagreements have to be arguments.  It is common for many people with communication issues to start off as a disagreement transpire into an argument.

This type of behavior is common with people with BPD.  You mentioned a typology of BPD.  Are you familiar with the characteristics of BPD?  This is a great article to start with.  BPD: What is it? How can I tell?

Are you intending on working on the relationship with your wife?

[4kidz]

my 2 cents- if I agree with my uBPDw all is well. If not it typically does not go well. Advice- read up on how to validate, SET  etc. It helps mitigate some of it... .Hang in there...