could use some advice

[EaglesJuju]

Thanks just read that   this is assuming she has strong BPD / NPD / PPD traits which I suspect but she has never been diagnosed as "she doesn't have a problem "

What could I say to her though ... .

If I say I love you I can guarantee she will respond

I still care about you , but we are not meant to be .

Crushing  

I would send a simple text like, "Hi, how are you doing?" 

[dobie]

Thanks just read that   this is assuming she has strong BPD / NPD / PPD traits which I suspect but she has never been diagnosed as "she doesn't have a problem "

What could I say to her though ... .

If I say I love you I can guarantee she will respond

I still care about you , but we are not meant to be .

Crushing  

I would send a simple text like, "Hi, how are you doing?" 

I'm fine you ?

[EaglesJuju]

I'm fine you ?

Was that the response? 

[dobie]

I'm fine you ?

Was that the response? 

No it will be

[EaglesJuju]

I'm fine you ?

Was that the response? 

No it will be

You really do not know unless you do it.    If that would be the response, it is not necessarily bad.  It is a typical respond that can lead to a conversation.  Are you hesitant of texting her because, you are worried what the response may be?

[dobie]

I'm fine you ?

Was that the response? 

No it will be

You really do not know unless you do it.    If that would be the response, it is not necessarily bad.  It is a typical respond that can lead to a conversation.  Are you hesitant of texting her because, you are worried what the response may be?

You have to remember she is either angry , indifferent or blaming me every time we talk or text yes I'm worried she will use it as an ego boost ... .She wants me to be OK about all this to EASE her guilt .


She said I don't love or respect you

She moved out and is getting a new flat

She is posting pics of her on FB out with friends having a good time

She blames me and is angry

She may have another man ... .I'm questioning what I can hope to accomplish ?

[EaglesJuju]

You have to remember she is either angry , indifferent or blaming me every time we talk or text yes I'm worried she will use it as an ego boost ... .She wants me to be OK about all this to EASE her guilt .


She said I don't love or respect you

She moved out and is getting a new flat

She is posting pics of her on FB out with friends having a good time

She blames me and is angry

She may have another man ... .I'm questioning what I can hope to accomplish ?

I do not know what you are looking to accomplish.  Only you know that.  Ultimately, you have to decide what is best for you. You have a couple of choices to consider: trying to contact her or being no contact.  A definitive answer to that question is not truly necessary.  I do not think there is a time frame either.  It is all reliant on what you want to do. 

The best advice I can give you is to focus on yourself and what you want.     

[dobie]

I want her back but I realise that is impossible

[EaglesJuju]

I want her back but I realise that is impossible

I understand how difficult that must be for you.    Have you considered taking some time for yourself?