SD9 home alone again

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Last night DH got a call from (my) SD9 (his DD) at midnight. She is with uBPDbm for the rest of break (we had the first half, exchanged on Christmas day). uBPDbm had left SD9 home alone for several hours. It was now midnight and SD9 was trying to call her but she wasn't answering her phone. SD9 was freaking out so she called DH and was crying. He tried uBPDbm's phone, no answer. I tried her phone, no answer. We sent her messages on OFW, nothing. Finally as a last ditch effort I sent a text which she replied to. She claimed she was home. She then claimed she was at a neighbors. She called SD9 and told her to lie and say she was home.

This is really frustrating because it has been brought up to CPS several times that SD9 is being left home alone and they are ok with it. We basically have no course of action except point it out to the CE and hope the CE recommends that we get primary custody.

[Thunderstruck]

Last night DH got a call from (my) SD9 (his DD) at midnight. She is with uBPDbm for the rest of break (we had the first half, exchanged on Christmas day). uBPDbm had left SD9 home alone for several hours. It was now midnight and SD9 was trying to call her but she wasn't answering her phone. SD9 was freaking out so she called DH and was crying. He tried uBPDbm's phone, no answer. I tried her phone, no answer. We sent her messages on OFW, nothing. Finally as a last ditch effort I sent a text which she replied to. She claimed she was home. She then claimed she was at a neighbors. She called SD9 and told her to lie and say she was home.

This is really frustrating because it has been brought up to CPS several times that SD9 is being left home alone and they are ok with it. We basically have no course of action except point it out to the CE and hope the CE recommends that we get primary custody.

[livednlearned]

Even when SD9 is home alone at midnight they treat it the same? My ex tried to create drama when I took my dog for a walk and left my son home alone in the home (he was 9 at the time). In my state, there is no law about leaving kids home alone. But I wonder if that applies to leaving them home at midnight? What would happen if you went and picked SD9 up and left a note telling BM that you would bring SD9 over in the morning when BM was home.

So sad for your SD9  :'(

When my son was that age, he would've been devastated to stay home alone that late at night.

[Thunderstruck]

I'm sure once uBPDbm got home she raged at SD9 for calling us when she was scared.  :'(

We're out of town this week so we're completely helpless right now.

We're both very tired of uBPDbm leaving SD9 home alone. We're going for majority, but right now I'm wondering whether we should go for no overnights.

[livednlearned]

We're both very tired of uBPDbm leaving SD9 home alone. We're going for majority, but right now I'm wondering whether we should go for no overnights.

That sounds reasonable. You can throw that into the motion as an FYI. "BPD mom left SD9 home alone on x, y, and z occasion. Here is the call log, texts, and behaviors that worry us." We request majority time and no overnights.

That's why picking up SD9 might work in your favor. It makes it concrete. "We got a call from SD9 at 12am and she was scared. We came to wait with her until 1am. When her mom had not arrived by 1am, we felt it was best to take SD9 home until we could be sure BM was going to return for the night. This happened again on day/date, day/date, and day/date.

It can't hurt to ask for it.