Grateful for support

[Livicoco]

I'm so happy to have found this site.  It's so awesome to connect with others who struggle with this BPD. My daughter displays BPD traits.  Parenting a child with BPD traits is extremely difficult.  Feeling judged is something I found difficult in the beginning, however, I've realized I was not put on earth to please people or look "normal". There is no normal.  I'm now seeing the blessing these challenges are.  I believe every experience points to truth.  Through my journey with my daughter my definition of love and truth have taken on a deeper meaning.  Every person is good at their core. We are not born “bad”. BPD have incorrect perceptions about who they are. Gunk has piled over the essence of their true self.  They feel lost, un-connected and don't know who they are. They think they should be someone other than who they are. It's as though they have no sense of self.  When my daughter started to display outrageous behavior I was at a complete loss as to why she acted the way she did. It was so unbelievable to me. My husband and I would tell her she was an ungrateful, spoiled and she needed to "get it together". I'm sure it fueled her downward spiral into worthlessness. Not only were we not validating her feelings, we were doing the opposite, we were validating what she believed about herself; she was bad, evil, not normal and separate from everyone else.  Educating myself about this disorder, talking to doctors, therapist and working on my self-awareness everyday, I'm able to see the truth:  She is in pain, she hates herself, she feels helpless, worthless and out of control. She needs love, validation, discipline and ways to "see" her true good self.  I now work on giving her opportunities to see and trust in who she is; love, God, truth and to clear the gunk that’s clouded over the jewel of her beautiful soul. It's difficult work and at times I want to give in or up, but I remember I'm the parent and this is what love looks like. I'm grateful for my daughter and the experience.  Life is an amazing journey towards the white light of truth.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ziggiddy]

Wow> You wrote such an honest post. it must have been a heart rending journey for you, Livicoco and you are negotiating it well.

it takes a whole new perspective on life to deal with a child wBPD and it is admirable to me that you have done so much and learned so much to cope with what must have been a very painful difficult situation at times.

Yes this special child needs special care and I am amazed at your tenacity in sticking with it. And forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made before you knew.

Welcome to the family

and I wish you the best on your journey.

Ziggiddy

[lever.]

Hello Livicoco

I do hope you will join other parents on the parents board. Your first post is very inspiring. I would not wish it upon anyone to suffer from BPD or to have a child with BPD but it is certainly true that you learn a lot about what love is and a great deal about yourself and what are your strengths and weaknesses.

There is a lot of further reading on the parents board which I think you would find interesting and I also think you would be a real asset to other parents who are struggling.

I really hope that you will join us there.