The hardest part is being shut out.
I had to

as well at the I could kiss you line. I have felt that way in the past when asking about a problem or situation I have been facing. Thing is, your not alone just like everyone here on the forums isn't alone. One thing you do have is an extensive network (here) of people that will listen and understand the situation and how horrible it feels to be in these situations. Make sure you have that network outside of here as well, friends family, don't allow yourself to be isolated.
In regards to the insight into these situations, I have insight or hindsight into how I enabled the behaviour. I sort of said it was acceptable when I was in the relationship. The most important thing is how this effected me and wore me down over time. I allowed this to happen, I know I didn't have a huge amount of choice (it felt that way that's for sure) however it was still me that accepted those conditions.
Go out, have fun with your friends, one thing I am hoping is I don't get an immediate response here! Hopefully you are out having that good time with girlfriends and what not. For the future if this occurs, look after yourself be a bit selfish, if it causes a storm, tell him why you are going out.
I understand that you want to spend holidays with your kids, I want to be a part of your life and I struggle when you dont include me in those special times. I feel excluded.
Their is no single answer to these problems other than look after yourself and do the best that you can.
AJJ.