I dont know it just felt weird. Nothing red flag like but there seemed to be something that I couldnt put my finger on. The only thing It felt like was that they were being judged. As if they didnt want to make a wrong choice in case they were thought less of.
I can understand your line of thinking, enlighten me, I really can. I've thought that way numerous times myself. Then it was like, whoa, I'm
judging them! It's okay to be
different. It's okay to look in someone else's cart; shoot, I've ran back for carrots after seeing them in someone else's cart, or tried a new cereal. Sometimes I get sick of the same old thing and can't think of what it is I really want-- Ooo, that spinach dips looks good, think I'll get some myself. As long as I'm not taking it out of their cart, no worries
Then there's the issue of being thought less of... . This will probably be a bit abstract:
I know of a dynamic where the husband makes a good living, $250,000yr. His wife and mother-in-law have fits(!) because he goes to a convenience store every morning for a pop.
":)o you know how much money you're wasting? If you bought those at wholesale store you could save $$$. It's ridiculous blah blah blah"This guy is not going to stop getting his morning pop from the store he chooses to get it from. BUT, if he had a different personality, he might feel really bad about it, taking what wife and mil say on board, feeling like he doesn't live up to their standards (or who knows what ). If they were to approach him differently about it, maybe he would take what they say on board. Their approach is to tell him that he's an idiot for spending that kind of money frivolously. They're judging him and his decisions. No mention of the great job he's doing being a provider to his family; nitpicking tiny things, making mountains out of molehills.
I believe some of us do that sort of thing to our partners without even realizing it. We take things we don't agree with or understand and blow them out of proportion.
I think the issue is not that they are being judged but that they fear they are, when they aren't.
In your example a pwBPD may fear being judged as being poor if they weren't making a show of being oblivious to cost. ie being seen to have money to waste is an image of their status and must be maintained. A well balanced person would just do as they wanted as long as it was within their means.
Keeping up an image however does not inherently point to a disorder, many folks rank it as important. I used to, dont now. In fact maybe I make a show of not making a show...
... We're all a little crazy
