Daughter (19) with BPD - awful nightmares

[BPDmom23]

Hello All,

I am so happy to have found this site this afternoon!  I have a 19 year old daughter that has been suffering for many years but only diagnosed after going to college this past fall and wound up in a series of awful incidents including a week in a psychiatric hospital and then home.  She has been going for therapy for 5 years; however, was never diagnosed with BPD.  She's taken herself off of her medications multiple times because she said she wasn't feeling better.  It all makes perfect sense now that we know the diagnosis.

She's been enrolled in DBT - 1 hr individual therapy/week and 1 hour skills group/week and I've attended a weekend family skills training and go weekly for DBT training as well.  So far, all the therapy has been out of pocket, so I don't know how much longer I'll be able to afford to send her.  My ex-husband is not capable of understanding her illness so it's an uphill battle.

My latest problem is that on top of the BPD she has PTSD and for the past 8 nights has been waking up in the middle of the night crying and whimpering.  I go into her room to wake her and then she is terrified as she's in the middle of an awful nightmare.  She's been on multiple medications for sleep however nothing works.  I just feel so helpless as I don't know how to help her and don't want to take her to the emergency room, but she is desperate for help.

Any advice would be welcomed!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi BPDmom23

Welcome to our online community  I'm sorry to read that your daughter is having these problems. BPD is quite a challenging disorder but now that she's been diagnosed, you at least know what you're dealing with and can educate yourself about this disorder. When it comes to dealing with BPD, in my experience knowledge truly is power.

Doctors/psychiatrists are often very hesitant to diagnose teenagers and young children with BPD, perhaps that's why she only got diagnosed this past fall. I think it's very positive that she's enrolled in DBT. This form of therapy has been proven to be effective for many people with BPD. Has her behavior improved since starting DBT? And do you feel like your daughter fully acknowdledges her issues and accepts the diagnosis of having BPD?

You also mention she has PTSD and is having nightmares. What caused her PTSD and is she also being treated specifically for the PTSD?

Many of our members have children with BPD too and will be able to relate to what you're going through. You can read their stories on the Parenting board. You'll also find several resources there that might help you better deal with your daughter.

[NorthernGirl]

Hello BPDmom23. I'll join Kwamina in welcoming you to our site.

I'm sorry you have been through such a difficult time with your daughter. As Kwamina says, it is a very good sign that she is in DBT as it is often a very effective treatment.

As you learn more on our site, especially on the Parenting board that Kwamina recommended, you will see that you are not alone in the journey you are on. You will get lots of support and information here, and you can share your story knowing others will understand.

I don't have any specific information on PTSD but hopefully you can find others who have similar experiences. What does the therapist she is seeing say about the nightmares?

Please keep posting and sharing. You've come to the right place.

[BPDmom23]

Hi Kwamina-

Thank you for your welcome!  I am very thankful that my daughter has been diagnosed and is getting DBT treatment.  Unfortunately, I haven't seen much progress in the last few months - if anything, she has gotten worse.  these nightmares are a killer for everyone in the family (i have a 16 year old son).  It is so awful to see how she struggles every day.  When she was at college, she was touched in a sexual way one night by 2 men on the street.  She has been having nightmares since but not this bad.  The therapist didn't want to work on the PTSD as she was working to stabilize her from harming herself.  I know hospitals are not always the best choice.  At the same time, I don't feel as though she is getting enough help.  On top of everything she is really depressed and we haven't been able to get a return phone call from the psychiatrist (yes, I have an appointment with someone new Jan. 13).

thank you for the link to the parenting board.  I will check that out.  Hoping for peace for my child in 2015!