With therapy... Is it possible?

[LApak]

Here I go- ... .I recently left my BPD man- I love him! And I still believe he loves me. Here's where I'm thinking I'll get A lot of negative feed backs... .Is it possible to try again? He has been thinking ... .He has stopped drinking, dope- and said he needs to get better. He said he knows he's wrong - FINALLY- after years- HE ADMITS IT.  I am meeting with a therapist for myself today, If he was to see his dr, try his meds again and will seek therapy... .Can it be possible?   He hasn't been stalking me, hasn't been ridiculous about anything.  He said he needs to be a good man before anything but doesn't think he can let go of me, that he's sick being without me (. Now, he doesn't have to be alone, his ex wants him back-) he was even honest about that, said when I hurt him, he thought he had feelings for her, but has realized, he was only trying to get over me? If WE both try, can we be okay... .Ever? Or ya'll re commend I still keep running?   As always, thanks in advance... .LA

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Left broken and confused]

I completely understand your feelings and I am sure I too will get negative feedback. If you both go to counseling and you truly love him then I feel everyone needs to go where their heart takes them. To me it is worth the risk be I am sure that I will be the minority here I just read the borderline survival guide which every borderline is different and there is hope. A friend of mine suggested I read it she is a social worker and is also a borderline

[Suzn]

He said he needs to be a good man before anything 

What does a "good" man mean? I would agree "before anything" watch and see if he is diligent about therapy and meds. L.A. nothing is impossible, if you aren't done trying then you aren't done trying. No one will judge you for that here. If it were me I would want to do things differently than I had in the past. Separate lives that include therapy so that when you are both ready to try again you have the benefit of a healthy foundation.

[Infern0]

I belive it is possible.  I think borderlines should be considered on a case by case basis,  I think some of them are capable of getting the help they need and staying with it.

Unfortunately it's an outside chance at best that they would stick to it.  If you want to try and he seems willing,  why not.  Just be careful and protect yourself.

[Targeted]

I think you will get more responses to this question on the staying board, I am not being rude just trying to be helpful, I have asked questions there myself and found it quite helpful, I have that same wish that my ex would have at least tried therapy.  If you decide to go forward with it I wish you the best of luck.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey LApak, I suggest that you listen to your gut feelings.  At the end of the day, only you know what is the right path for you.  On the other hand, some of us (read: me) spent many unhappy years in a hellish marriage to a pwBPD, which I don't recommend to anyone.  The price was too high, and I nearly destroying myself physically, emotionally and financially trying for years to make something work that was unworkable.  So first make sure that you are taking good care of yourself before making any decision.  LuckyJim

[Perfidy]

That happens to be one of the false beliefs that keep people in misery. A lifetime of mental illness. Do you really want that?