How I rationalize BPD

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I imagine them as a child. A child that has a new toy (us) They play with it, love it, take it everywhere with them, get overly protective of it and will not share it with anyone.

After a while. Once they have played with it all they can and it's not the amazing new toy it once was. A new toy catches there eye in a shop window. They have to have it, it's all they can think about. So they do whatever they can to get it and the old toy gets put away in a box with all the other toys to play with at a future date.

Sure they may return to the old toy if the new one gets broken or they get bored with it, but it's only a matter of time before a new shiny one catches their eye and the cycle repeats.

As sad as it is, this is how I rationalize it. We all just toys in a life size toy box.

[BPDGuy1]

I imagine them as a child. A child that has a new toy (us) They play with it, love it, take it everywhere with them, get overly protective of it and will not share it with anyone.

After a while. Once they have played with it all they can and it's not the amazing new toy it once was. A new toy catches there eye in a shop window. They have to have it, it's all they can think about. So they do whatever they can to get it and the old toy gets put away in a box with all the other toys to play with at a future date.

Sure they may return to the old toy if the new one gets broken or they get bored with it, but it's only a matter of time before a new shiny one catches their eye and the cycle repeats.

As sad as it is, this is how I rationalize it. We all just toys in a life size toy box.

[Tim300]

I can't disagree with this.

[Rise]

Only unlike toys, we have the choice in whether or not we want to be played with again.

[glaciercats]

Well said!  That's exactly how I feel lately.  The new toy wasn't as great as she imagined so she wanted me back. 

[enlighten me]

The one thing I will add is even when we are in the toy cupboard they still check to see if we are still there and wonder if we would still be fun to play with. Heaven forbid someone else playing with their discarded toys as they are still jealously possesive of them.

[glaciercats]

The one thing I will add is even when we are in the toy cupboard they still check to see if we are still there and wonder if we would still be fun to play with. Heaven forbid someone else playing with their discarded toys as they are still jealously possesive of them.

So true!  It's like they can be out with whoever doing whatever. But how dare us try to pick up the pieces and move forward.  We are just suppose to be there waiting anytime they decide they want to play with us. 

[BPDGuy1]

The one thing I will add is even when we are in the toy cupboard they still check to see if we are still there and wonder if we would still be fun to play with. Heaven forbid someone else playing with their discarded toys as they are still jealously possesive of them.

Exactly! Could'nt have said it better myself!

[billypilgrim]

Well on multiple levels, they are children.  They assume the victim role, which is naturally a one down position in the relationship.  Much like one of a child to a parent.  Their behaviors are childish.  They are often immature, they act out, throw tantrums, pout, etc.  And perhaps most importantly, like children, they operate solely to meet their own needs.  This leaves little room for reciprocation in their relationships.  How much reciprocation really goes on with a 2 or 3 year old to its parent?  I see a r/s with a ClusterB PD in much the same way.  

One of my good friends said this about my ex after I told him she left, "You know, she always struck me as a girl who was in desperate need of growing up."