Refuses to Acknowledge Divorce Filling

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I told my dBPDw one year ago, I wanted a divorce, 6 months ago I provided her a letter from my lawyer (which she lost the letter). One month ago I formally filed for divorce and refused to signed for certified mail, she also has not open the letter(she received certified).   So now I need to pay someone to serve her the papers.

I am talking to my wife, and we unfortunately we are still in the same same house.  She just keeps telling me she refuses to divorce and she is better now and almost cured of the BPD.

[Mike76]

I told my dBPDw one year ago, I wanted a divorce, 6 months ago I provided her a letter from my lawyer (which she lost the letter). One month ago I formally filed for divorce and refused to signed for certified mail, she also has not open the letter(she received certified).   So now I need to pay someone to serve her the papers.

I am talking to my wife, and we unfortunately we are still in the same same house.  She just keeps telling me she refuses to divorce and she is better now and almost cured of the BPD.

[ForeverDad]

Not surprising.  She can delay it but she can't stop it.

[Mike76]

That is what the laywer said but it is frustrating... . 

I wish she realized that delaying may cause more harm for her than me.  

[downwhim]

No she cannot stop it. My ex husband refused to chose an attorney and my attorney got all over him. Finally he announced who he was using. He had to go through with it.

[casper324]

If she refuses to respond wouldn't you get a default judgement?  That could be a GREAT thing vs having a divorce battle.

[catnap]

Ask your L about a private process server to have your wife served outside the home--at work, or while she is out running errands. 

She can delay, but she cannot stop the process.  Ask your L his strategies to keep things moving after she is officially served.  If she threatens to self-harm, call 911. 

[scraps66]

I had similar, ex did not take the mail, I did.  Then held onto the papers for three weeks, made up a bunch of excuses why not to serve her.  So I then gave them to her.  That was a bad idea.

Going forward, it may be difficult to convince her that this will happen if still in the house.  I got booted from my house, I'm not saying let that happen.  In fact, make sure she doesn't do this to you. 

From the court's perspective they can rationalize, "well you wanted the divorce, so you should be the one to move out and get this thing moving."  You can move out but you have to make the proper arrangements first and make sure you have some type of controls to not allow her to drag things out unnecessarily.  Had this happen too, 15 months of ex not engaging in settlement and avoiding any type of movement as I paid for the house for her and new bf.