DD15 RTC release coming soon

[busymind79]

After 5 weeks in an RTC, we are preparing for our daughter to transition home. She has had a few day long passes and has done fairly well with them. She does show quite a bit of anxiety about using some of the DBT skills she has learned. We know that it is going to be difficult to replace her old coping skills with new ones. I am trying to be cautiously optimistic, but I also know that once she is home full time, it will be difficult to let go of the fear of crisis. I am working on my self confidence in my parenting and on validation skills. We are going to slowly return to her many of the responsibilities and privileges that she lost over the six month crisis period we were in. I know this won't be perfection, but I can only hope that she will remain safe and moving forward. She will have a new therapist and a transition period before returning to school. I have read the article about supporting a child in therapy, is there any advice that anyone can give on the best ways to manage this transition?  Anything from personal experience on things to do or not do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

busymind79, I did go through the same situation with my adult (37) son when he returned home after his 21-day Intensive In-Patient Program. I was petrified that once he got home he would relapse like he did after being released from other Programs (from 2 different stays at Hospital Psych Wards, and 2 different stays at "regular" Rehab Programs, over the years).

This time (he was released from the Dual Diagnosis Program in April 2013), I resolved to make things different for him, and decided that everything needed to change. Like you, I was determined that every day had to be a step forward, every day had to be part of his Recovery--life could not go back for him like it did those other times.

Luckily for me, the DDx Program gave me the information for this website with his discharge papers, and I found this site right away. I've documented what we did, and how it helped him stay in recovery, in this thread: My Son's Recovery-In-Progress Story.

Getting her a new Therapist, and giving her a transition period is perfect, I think. Reading everything you can on this site (starting with that Feature Article was great!) will also help you. The links to the right-hand side of this page, and the other Feature Articles at the top of this Board's main page (under the 4 photos at the top of the thread listings), are excellent and will give you a wonderful overview of how your daughter's mind works, and the tips are helpful in keeping things moving in a positive direction.

What I found was that as long as my son stayed in "Recovery Mode" in his head, and didn't get involved with the same people, activities, and locations that he was a part of during his troubled past, he could move forward. At least in the beginning; his mindset needed to be "different" and life had to have forward-moving events to keep him desiring recovery. Even now, he still goes to Out-Patient Therapy once/week, sees his Neurofeedback Therapist once/week, and sees his Psychiatrist once/month, the same as he's done since right after being released from the Dual Diagnosis Program.

Every day is Recovery Day, one foot before the other, moving forward. It can be done, busymind79, and my son is the happiest and healthiest he has been since he was a little kid... .We'll help you get this done 

[busymind79]

Thank you for your reply! It is a little bit of a scary time but also exciting in a way. I spoke to the school today and they are very willing to help with a slow transition back to school. I am concerned about her motivation in changing her relationships with friends. We are in a very small town with a very small school and I think that is going to be the most difficult for her. Especially since her interpersonal relationships tend to be her biggest trigger. I am hopeful that we can move forward, but also prepared for those steps back. It's a whole new way of living for all of us. I appreciate your kind words of support!

[qcarolr]

Hi busymind79,

What an exciting and scary time for both your DD15 and you. Who else is in your home?

Has there been any family involvement with the RTC? How do you feel this will help you support your DD using the DBT skills? Sometimes it is helpful for the parents to do a DBT skills class so they can give this support.

What does your own support network look like? A therapist for you? Understanding friends, family or faith community? For me consciously seeking to build a network has made a giant difference in my ability to keep my cool in coping with my BPDDD28 and GD9. Families are complex, each in their own ways of interacting.

These resources were not here for me when my DD was an adolescent. Raising my gd9 I really value the changes I have made in myself to do a better job. I am also able to be connected with my adult daughter in a much healthier way for both of us.

qcr