roller coaster

[socialworkermom]

My daughter was diagnosed 13-14 years ago. It has been a struggle for both of us. I seem to fail at helping her. I try to listen and be supportive.  Sometimes, however, I JUST feel overwhelmed.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tristesse]

Hello Socialworkermom and welcome.

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I can assure you that I understand, and that there is a tremendous amount of help here and advice right here. There are Lessons and Tools on the right side of this board, they are crucial to our success in communicating with and helping our loved ones who suffer with BPD. There have been days where I felt my very sanity was hanging in the balance, and turned to this board for help, there was always something helpful and/or useful here.

I too have a daughter with BPD, She is 31 years old, and we have struggled since she was about 13. We are in a much better place now, and that is thanks in large part to this site. My advice to you today, take a time out for yourself, regroup and refresh and then focus on learning as much as you can from this site. Using the S.E.T. tool will be more helpful than you can imagine. Good luck to you, and keep us updated.

[Tim300]

My daughter was diagnosed 13-14 years ago. It has been a struggle for both of us. I seem to fail at helping her. I try to listen and be supportive.  Sometimes, however, I JUST feel overwhelmed.

What are some of the most common, serious challenges that you face with her?

[socialworkermom]

mOST OF THE TIMESHE DOES SO WELLShe hits a depression and anything can and does happen. how do you deal with the violence?

[Kwamina]

Hi socialworkermom

You seem to be in a quite difficult situation at the moment with your daughter. You mention depression, is this something your daughter has struggled with before? And is she being treated for it?

From your other posts I gather that your daughter was diagnosed with BPD at age 18. this happened about 13-14 years ago. Is your daughter being treated/in therapy for the BPD or has she perhaps been in the past?

You also ask how to deal with the violence. This concerns me somewhat. Can you elaborate on this matter? Is your daughter being violent to you and if so, do you feel safe around her?

To help you assess your current safety situation, I suggest you take a look at a document we have on here called 'Safety First':

Safety First

I hope you're all right and will be able to tell us some more about what's going on with your daughter. Take care

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, socialworkermom 

I'd like to join tristesse, Tim300 and Kwamina in welcoming you to this site, and I hope that you have had the chance to check out the links to the right-hand side of this page referred to by tristesse. The "Safety First" link from Kwamina might also be something you would want to check out. Another very valuable resource can be found here: Feature Articles (these very informative pieces are also found at the links under the 4 photos to the top of the Parenting Board's thread listing page).

I see that your daughter has a problem with Depression, and when she lapses into that, things go south pretty quick... .My own adult (37) son, who was diagnosed with BPD in April 2013, suffered from Depression for about 15 years or more before getting the proper Treatments and Therapies for BPD and his other diagnoses (ADD, Suicidal Ideations, Substance Addiction, Social Anxiety, Hyperactive Thyroid). Besides going to an Out-Patient Therapist once/week, a Neurofeedback Therapist once/week, and a Psychiatrist once/month, he is also on medications.

At this point--after being discharged from the Dual Diagnosis Program that diagnosed the BPD almost 22 months ago--he has been clean and sober (from a multi-year Heroin addiction) for almost 23 months, and the happiest and healthiest he has been since he was a little kid. The Depression took longer to get under control, but he doesn't suffer now from that or the other diagnoses at all--except for small bouts of Social Anxiety, but he's getting a handle on that these days.

I see that your daughter is in Treatment for her BPD; do they work on her Depression also? Is she on any medication for it? Has it gotten better since she's been in Therapy? I do know that what has probably been the most beneficial for my son's Depression is the combination of the Neurofeedback Therapy and some medications that he is taking. The difference in his mindset and attitude is nothing short of remarkable, actually.

Can you tell us more about her Depression, and how she handles it? I know from dealing with my son for all of those years when he was depressed and suicidal, there's nothing harder than watching your child self-destruct right before your very eyes. It's heartbreaking, and so many of us on this Board have felt the way you do, socialworkermom