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Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
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I'm new to this site and I'm looking for advice
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Topic: I'm new to this site and I'm looking for advice (Read 542 times)
Brisjules
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1
I'm new to this site and I'm looking for advice
«
on:
January 27, 2015, 04:26:30 AM »
Hi, I am a single mum with 3 teenage kids and my eldest has been recently diagnosed with BPD. It's tearing us apart and I'm needing help dealing with it. I'm at the point where I want her out of my home as I can't live with her anymore. I feel so much guilt.
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Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Kwamina
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 3544
Re: I'm new to this site and I'm looking for advice
«
Reply #1 on:
January 27, 2015, 12:13:42 PM »
Hi Brisjules
Thanks for posting this introduction. BPD is a difficult disorder to deal with so I understand why you might feel like you can't live with your daughter anymore. You say she has been recently diagnosed with BPD. What would you say are her behaviors that you find most difficult to deal with? Is your daughter being treated for her BPD?
As this all is still quite new for you, I suggest you take a look at the resources to the right of this message board. They can help you as you try to learn new ways of interacting with your daughter. How are your other kids dealing with this whole situation?
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Oh, give me liberty! For even were paradise my prison, still I should long to leap the crystal walls.
Rapt Reader
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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Relationship status: married
Posts: 3626
Re: I'm new to this site and I'm looking for advice
«
Reply #2 on:
January 27, 2015, 06:13:30 PM »
Hello, Brisjules, and I'd like to join Kwamina in welcoming you to this site, and also encourage you to read the
links
to the right-hand side of this page as he mentioned.
How old is your daughter who was recently diagnosed with BPD? Since she's gotten a diagnosis, does that mean that she has a Therapist or some other Professional treating her? Does she acknowledge that she has a problem, and is she willing to go through with some treatment? If so, then things should be looking up soon for her, and your family... .Once you learn the
TOOLS
and read
THE LESSONS
at the links mentioned, you can become part of her recovery and things could really get a lot better for you all.
We've all felt guilt at one time or another, as parents of children with BPD, but learn quickly that once we can understand how our child's mind is working--and how to use the communication skills under the
TOOLS
: Empathy; Validation; S.E.T.; Self-Awareness & Wisemind; Boundaries; Problem-Solving; and Eliminating Bad Triangulation--we can use that knowledge to empower us and help the relationship.
As Kwamina suggested, please tell us more of your story and let us know just what is happening... .We'd love to help, Brisjules
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My Son's Recovery-In-Progress
Tamara96
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 28
Re: I'm new to this site and I'm looking for advice
«
Reply #3 on:
January 27, 2015, 09:26:58 PM »
I feel your frustration... .and perhaps that is not the right word.
Dealing with BPD traits adds a whole other dimension to adolescence.
I have for years lived with that guilty feeling of loving be dd to pieces, but no longer being able to live with her.
I too am new to this group and have found all the resources offered to be so incredibly helpful. A lot of information to digest but finally material that is helpful.
Tell us more about your situation and what you find most difficult to deal with, you will be surprised how many people in this community can relate to what you are going through. Hang in there.
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