I lost my patience with her...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello 

I was upset about some things that were happening in our relationship as her addiction to video games and that she was going out with a girl that she already had a short relationship with some months ago and today she says that this girl is her friend and I couldn't believe that this girl was just her friend and yesterday she told me she was going to go sledding with this girl and  I exploded with her, in fact I can have exaggerated because I said  was done with this and at the time of my anger I broke up with her and said that she was losing me ... .

I acted in a way that is not my normal with her, it happens that I had lost my patience with this ... .

Now I feel sorry for this and I feel bad for blowing up with her, we were going well and I'm afraid I ruined everything. I apologized to her for that but I'm not sure if she will excuse me because she told me she needed a time to think and I exaggerate in my jealousy.

Have something similar happened to you? Has anyone here ever exploded with your partner because of jealousy and repressed things?

[butterfly 27]

Hello 

I was upset about some things that were happening in our relationship as her addiction to video games and that she was going out with a girl that she already had a short relationship with some months ago and today she says that this girl is her friend and I couldn't believe that this girl was just her friend and yesterday she told me she was going to go sledding with this girl and  I exploded with her, in fact I can have exaggerated because I said  was done with this and at the time of my anger I broke up with her and said that she was losing me ... .

I acted in a way that is not my normal with her, it happens that I had lost my patience with this ... .

Now I feel sorry for this and I feel bad for blowing up with her, we were going well and I'm afraid I ruined everything. I apologized to her for that but I'm not sure if she will excuse me because she told me she needed a time to think and I exaggerate in my jealousy.

Have something similar happened to you? Has anyone here ever exploded with your partner because of jealousy and repressed things?

[CloseToFreedom]

Yes, often. I also often broke it off myself.

I always regretted it. Now that Im painted black there's no way back anymore. She has a replacement already.

Its for the best, even though my heart can't see that right now, my mind knows its true.

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Butterfly 27, 

I understand how you can lose your patience.   Especially, if you are constantly repressing your feelings. Eventually, the repressed feelings will resurface and tend to be more intense than the original feelings. It is like an internal volcano erupting once we finally cannot repress anymore. 

I have experienced with being frustrated with video game addiction as well. From my experience, the video game addiction was prompted by my pwBPD's impulsivity, boredom, a place where he could forget real life (dissociation), and he could create a different persona (unstable sense of self). It was so frustrating when he would spend the majority of his free time playing video games. I ended up feeling somewhat jealous that he was spending a large portion of his time talking to other people in the video game. I remember getting really frustrated and losing my patience many times over the video game addiction.

I would try giving her a little bit of space to think.  A little bit of space has helped myself and my bf when there were times I exploded with anger or frustration. Afterwards,  I would reach out using and using communication tools to discuss why I felt frustrated or angry.  Here is an article on communication tools. TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth

[butterfly 27]

Hi Butterfly 27, 

I understand how you can lose your patience.   Especially, if you are constantly repressing your feelings. Eventually, the repressed feelings will resurface and tend to be more intense than the original feelings. It is like an internal volcano erupting once we finally cannot repress anymore. 

I have experienced with being frustrated with video game addiction as well. From my experience, the video game addiction was prompted by my pwBPD's impulsivity, boredom, a place where he could forget real life (dissociation), and he could create a different persona (unstable sense of self). It was so frustrating when he would spend the majority of his free time playing video games. I ended up feeling somewhat jealous that he was spending a large portion of his time talking to other people in the video game. I remember getting really frustrated and losing my patience many times over the video game addiction.

Hello EaglesJuju 

This was an accumulation of repressed feelings of frustration and rejection because I was upset that we have little time to spend together and  she prefers play video games and when finally we talked I exploded with her, I know that even if I have reason I acted wrongly.

She spend the weekend at the home of some friends playing video games and when we talked she said it in a natural way as if were all right and she didn't care that I was upset because I tried to get her attention and she didn't seem to care about it ... .

I'm not a clingy girlfriend but when she starts playing video games she just cannot stop and this is a little frustrating for me... .

[butterfly 27]

Yes, often. I also often broke it off myself.

I always regretted it. Now that Im painted black there's no way back anymore. She has a replacement already.

Its for the best, even though my heart can't see that right now, my mind knows its true.

I feel so bad for doing it and also I'm ashamed, I love her still ... .

Today she told that forgive me and know that I love her.

We were well a few days ago before she spend  four days straight playing video games and the trigger was she had gone out with another girl and accumulated a lot of repressed feelings by me and I just did not have the control, when I realized I had talked all that was stuck in me. First I felt relieved but then I felt terrible because I'm not like that ... .

[EaglesJuju]

This was an accumulation of repressed feelings of frustration and rejection because I was upset that we have little time to spend together and  she prefers play video games and when finally we talked I exploded with her, I know that even if I have reason I acted wrongly.

She spend the weekend at the home of some friends playing video games and when we talked she said it in a natural way as if were all right and she didn't care that I was upset because I tried to get her attention and she didn't seem to care about it ... .

I'm not a clingy girlfriend but when she starts playing video games she just cannot stop and this is a little frustrating for me... .

It is frustrating for anyone to feel invalidated.  

You mentioned talking to her, are you on good terms?  Perhaps, you can discuss your frustration with the video game addiction? Expressing or talking about your concerns with the video games will prevent more repression and another explosion. The link I provided earlier is really helpful with discussing or expressing feelings to a pwBPD.