Tools for getting him out of bed

[Parents! Get help here!]

In the past week my son hasn't had an appetite, stays in bed most of his time. I can't motivate him to do anything around the house or see his doctor. He doesn't even shower everyday and that's not like him. He is not in counselling. He won't talk about how he feels. I don't know what to do.

[marie1057]

In the past week my son hasn't had an appetite, stays in bed most of his time. I can't motivate him to do anything around the house or see his doctor. He doesn't even shower everyday and that's not like him. He is not in counselling. He won't talk about how he feels. I don't know what to do.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Sometimes when our kids are not talking about their feelings we have to make an educated guess about what they are feeling.

It seems your son is in a state of severe depression so a validating statement might be something like:

"It seems like you are very depressed Joe.  I understand that it is difficult to be motivated to do much when depression hits."

Follow up a validating statement with a validating question... .maybe something similar to:

"What do you think might help?"

If he responds with "nothing will help" ask another validating question... .like:

"Maybe a visit to the doctor for some medication would be beneficial, what do you think?

Follow that with a supportive statement.  Perhaps:

"I'm here to help any way that you will allow me to."

Basically it is up to him to make a choice for change.  Knowing that you are there to help and not force will keep the lines for communication unblocked... .at least on your end.

lbj