lies

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So I haven't been to a bar in three years. Last night two friends and I walk into the karaoke place, and were standing in line for a drink, and I noticed my ex was there. One of the bouncers came over and said which one if you is so and so' s ex? I said me. Well my ex told them there was a restraining order against me so they kicked us out. I explained there is no order, I asked them to call the police and check. They wouldn't, so I went to the police afterward to document it. How do the hell do you coparent with a blatant liar.

[rarsweet]

So I haven't been to a bar in three years. Last night two friends and I walk into the karaoke place, and were standing in line for a drink, and I noticed my ex was there. One of the bouncers came over and said which one if you is so and so' s ex? I said me. Well my ex told them there was a restraining order against me so they kicked us out. I explained there is no order, I asked them to call the police and check. They wouldn't, so I went to the police afterward to document it. How do the hell do you coparent with a blatant liar.

[livednlearned]

So I haven't been to a bar in three years. Last night two friends and I walk into the karaoke place, and were standing in line for a drink, and I noticed my ex was there. One of the bouncers came over and said which one if you is so and so' s ex? I said me. Well my ex told them there was a restraining order against me so they kicked us out. I explained there is no order, I asked them to call the police and check. They wouldn't, so I went to the police afterward to document it. How do the hell do you coparent with a blatant liar.

rarsweet, did you want to stay in the bar knowing he was there? He filed a false restraining order against you, and it was dismissed. Were you concerned that he might do this again?

[rarsweet]

I didn't really care about the bar but what happens when he does this at Walmart or the post office this is a small town, am I supposed to be stay home and not do anything? I was of course worried, but I will not live in fear, I'm not responsible for his actions. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. Then he emails me saying I shouldn't drink and breastfeed, first I didn't even have a drink I didn't even get my coat off, second I don't drink ever, I work in the only other bar in town, being there doesn't mean I was going to drink. I just didn't respond to the email at all.

[livednlearned]

I didn't really care about the bar but what happens when he does this at Walmart or the post office this is a small town, am I supposed to be stay home and not do anything? I was of course worried, but I will not live in fear, I'm not responsible for his actions. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. Then he emails me saying I shouldn't drink and breastfeed, first I didn't even have a drink I didn't even get my coat off, second I don't drink ever, I work in the only other bar in town, being there doesn't mean I was going to drink. I just didn't respond to the email at all.

A bar may respond different than the post office or Walmart. The bouncer may err on the side of avoiding public disturbance. Do you think security at Walmart/USPS would respond the same way?

[scraps66]

I don't know the answer to your question because I have the same, lies, distortions, etc. One thing to do is minimize contact.  Had I walked into bar where my ex was, I would have walked right back out as there would be no comfort I could have in that situation.  If there is a good thing out of this, you got to document a blatant false accusation.  There will be more no doubt.

[enlighten me]

Personally I would go to the bar and speak to the owner. Explain what happened and how upset the bouncers made you because they believed your exs lie.

You may get an appology and get your ex banned. That would meen the only bar he could go to would be yours and I doubt he would be let in if he had the nerve to even do it.

It might not be the best idea for peace and quiet though.